Sen. Ashburn’s Glass Closet Door Shatters

March 4, 2010 at 8:42 am 149 comments

by Brian Leubitz

That California state Sen. Roy Ashburn (R-Bakersfield was a closet case was one of the worst kept secrets around Sacramento. He would periodically appear in a gay bar, trying to be as discreet as a state senator can be in Sacramento. He’s not exactly a rock star or anything, but in a city built around state government, he’s pretty recognizable.

And so, on 2 occasions, somebody sent me an email, because of my work at Calitics, saying that they had seen him at a gay bar. It had become more common over the last few years, as he was heading for his term limit and had no logical place to continue his political career. And, with his vote in support of a few minor tax increases in the California budget dispute last year, his chances of winning a Republican primary for dog catcher were also rapidly decreasing. Apparently, he became sloppy in his closet, either because he didn’t care anymore or because he thought he would never be caught. But, I’m no Mike Rogers, and I’ve never been all that great at the CYA work that’s necessary if you are going to start publishing that kind of stuff.

But, one sure way to get your name in lights? Get busted for DUI. And to make sure it is really exciting, bring along a guy that you picked up at the gay bar:

Sources tell CBS13 a state senator from Southern California was arrested for allegedly driving drunk after leaving Faces, a gay nightclub in midtown Sacramento, early Wednesday morning.

The California Highway Patrol pulled over Senator Roy Ashburn at 2:00 a.m. Wednesday after an officer noticed a black Chevy Tahoe swerving at 13th and L Streets.

When the officer stopped the state-issued vehicle, the driver identified himself as Senator Ashburn. He was arrested without incident and charged with two misdemeanors: driving under the influence and driving with a blood alcohol level higher than .08% or higher.

A male passenger, who was not identified as a lawmaker, was also in the car but was not detained. (CBS13)

Ashburn was quickly released (you can get the records by searching for Ashburn here), and probably thought he would just get to make the standard apologies.

I am deeply sorry for my actions and offer no excuse for my poor judgment. I accept complete responsibility for my conduct and am prepared to accept the consequences for what I did. I am also truly sorry for the impact this incident will have on those who support and trust me – my family, my constituents, my friends, and my colleagues in the Senate.

Of course, this was before the part about the gay club came out in the media. I guess you can now read the statement in a slightly different light.

If people choose to live in the closet, it’s their own poor choice. It will eventually drive them to do stupid things (like a DUI), and act like a jerk. But Ashburn is a slightly different case. Back when he still had campaigns to think about, he was something of an anti-marriage crusader:

In better days Ashburn, a fierce opponent of gay rights, was fighting marriage equality and organizing anti-gay marriage rallies as part of his “Traditional Family Values” campaign. (TalkingPointsMemo)

In fact, Ashburn’s efforts weren’t only focused on marriage equality. His little coalition actually wanted to ban domestic partnerships. The effort never really got anywhere; it wasn’t until In re Marriage Cases, the case that gave California marriage equality, that the move to ban marriage again really gained steam.

But Ashburn was there. Campaigning against gay rights in the day light while cruising for gay men after hours. You could make a lot of excuses for Ashburn, he was doing what you have to do to get elected in Bakersfield, or some other such nonsense, but he went out of his way to attack gay rights. And, that is often the case for these closet cases. They want to draw attention away from themselves, and so they go as far away politically as you can get from the LGBT community. They are scared of their own shadows.

Ultimately, it takes a little something extra to really go out on the limb against gay rights like Ashburn does. Yeah, some of these people trace it back to their deeply held faith views, but there are so many issues to take up from the Bible. The extreme poverty across the world would seem to be a far bigger issue, with far more and far more direct advice from the Bible. Yet, these people choose to focus on one misinterpreted section of Leviticus amongst a whole volume. In a sea of advice, commandments, and admonishments, they focus on one unclear passage. To spend so much time on one issue, there has to be something else to it than just one passage in the Bible.

The fight against homophobia won’t end anytime soon, but at least we can call it for what it is. Recognize those who are hypocritical, and stand up for our own rights. The fight will continue. But, as Martin Luther King, Jr, famously said, the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.

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Building Coalitions Trial Reenactment: Day 4 Parts I and II

149 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Brian Leubitz  |  March 4, 2010 at 8:45 am

    Full context of the MLK quote:

    We shall overcome because the arc of a moral universe is long, but it bends towards justice. We shall overcome because Carlyle is right – no lie can live forever. We shall overcome because William Cullen Bryant is right – truth crushed to earth will rise again. We shall overcome because James Russel Lowell is right – ‘truth forever on the scaffold, wrong forever on the throne, yet that scaffold sways the future, and behind the demon known, stands a God within the shadow, keeping watch above his own.”

    – From “Remaining Awake Through a Great Revolution”, 31 March 1968

    • 2. Felyx  |  March 4, 2010 at 9:08 am

      Here’s a man, that wanted to do good in the world, beaten by fear and intimidation into betraying himself.

      When I first heard Gay people could get married I even said to myself, but what would be the reason? Why should we deserve that?!

      I may still never get married or even find a person to share my life with in that way, but I read this and think, this is why we need universal marriage…it is an enormous step to recognition and personal freedom.

      What we are doing now is preventing other beautiful young people such as Roy Ashburn from having to suffer and live in horrible fear and darkness!


      • 3. PDXAndrew  |  March 4, 2010 at 9:37 am

        Dang… I was going to say something like that, but you beat me to it and said it better than I could.

        I don’t hate or fear or feel angry towards these self-loathers; I pity them.
        The pain and cost he and his family have to pay are NOT because he is gay, but rather because he feels he has no choice but to hide it. It is the hateros fault.
        THIS is why we are fighting. Not JUST for marriage, but full recognition as equal, valid and viable members of society. NO human being should have to feel like they must hide who they truly are.
        silly rabbit; Closets are for clothes.

        Love, Andrew

      • 4. Felyx  |  March 4, 2010 at 9:40 am

        Thank you Andrew, It is worth hearing again and again! Fe

    • 5. Bob  |  March 4, 2010 at 9:38 am

      Thanks for those encouraging words,

      Let’s not forget Martin Luther King’s confidant and best friend through the whole movement, Baynard Ruskin, a black gay man, google his name, he made a choice at that time to put AA rights first, but if he was around today , he’d say it’s our time. and remember it’s the arc of the moral UNIVERSE is long and bends toward justice.

      Equality is a global issue, this fight is for everyone , everywhere

      I as a Canadian am so grateful for the people of California, and their determination to fight PROP8, this particular case has had the opportunity to shed so much light on the lies and bigotry of the moral right, and exactly where they derive their morals from. (Blind following of religious beliefs spewed from the pulpits around the world) Thanks for the great job of having exposed this to the public.

      We will continue working to separate church and state, and learning the difference between spirituality, and religion.

      Brian concening coalitions, has Courage Campaign ever considered a coalition with http://www.Soulforce.Org

      • 6. David Kimble  |  March 4, 2010 at 10:26 am

        I agree, Bob, and only have one comment to add. While this trial has shed light in places, there still exists darkness in the world. Only when we, as a community stand together and proudly proclaim we are gay will anything truly change. It is important to stand together, since our voices, speak in a much louder tone than we can ever hope to, as one person. There are many of us, yet some choose to remain in darkness and fear for different reasons – some out of fear of rejection and others out of fear of retaliation and physical harm. Still, I believe it is only when we stand together and say loudly – ‘ENOUGH, WE DENY YOU THE WORDS TO PROCLAIM WE ARE ANYTHING, BUT LOVING PEOPLE, YOU HAVE TOO LONG USED YOUR WORDS OF HATRED TO SPEW LIKE A FOUNTAIN UPON THE WORLD!”. will anything change in America. It will take all of us together to affect a change. <3 David

      • 7. fiona64  |  March 4, 2010 at 1:00 pm

        Bayard Rustin.



      • 8. Bob  |  March 4, 2010 at 1:45 pm

        Thanks Fiona for the correction, Bayard Rustin, bless his soul, after all he did how could I misspell his name, correction appreciated

  • 9. Alan E.  |  March 4, 2010 at 8:47 am

    I posted this on the last thread, but these are worth listening to.

    For people outside the SF Bay Area, or who don’t listen to NPR regularly in the Bay Area, our local public radio station has a daily segment called “Perspectives” where local people get a chance to submit short essays to read aloud on air.

    This particular one today was from a gay high school student discussing some of the norms that he has to confront in his daily life, and his outlook on the rest of his life, with all of the other norms that he will come across soon enough. It is particularly moving in an uplifting way.

    Do You Want To Put Your Arms Around Me?
    For high school senior Adrian Ferrari, coming out at an early age has taught him how to adapt to life, whether it’s getting a prom picture or planning for a family.

    • 10. Alan E.  |  March 4, 2010 at 8:48 am

      My Mom Came Out
      Things were changing in Donnie Lumpkins’ family. When his mother started going out with Cowboy Carol, he knew the only thing harder than coming out would have been to stay in the closet.

    • 11. Alan E.  |  March 4, 2010 at 8:48 am

      Half Mast
      Susan Turner mourns the passing of a fallen solider, a proud gay man who died defending the rights others take for granted, but denied to him and his partner.

  • 12. Alan E.  |  March 4, 2010 at 8:49 am

    Clyde Wadsworth says that questions about the propriety of a gay judge presiding over the Prop. 8 trial are just the latest in a series of ironies surrounding the high profile case.

    • 13. Alan E.  |  March 4, 2010 at 8:49 am

      Woops meant this to be another reply.

  • 14. Ronnie  |  March 4, 2010 at 8:50 am

    “as part of his “Traditional Family Values” campaign.

    “Traditional” family vales…….my toned Gay @$$….that’s what I have to say about that….<3…Ronnie

  • 15. Jasun mark  |  March 4, 2010 at 8:57 am

    You know why those guys are comfortable being gay and still going after us?

    Because we LET them. Hey, we help them hide in the closet. We should be digging up dirt about each and every one of the anti-gay politicians and letting them know the free ride is over… if you come for us, we’re going to come for you.

    • 16. David Kimble  |  March 4, 2010 at 9:05 am

      Yes, I agree Jasun, I met Ashburn once and I didn’t get the sense he was gay, but my gaydar has been on the fritz recently…hmmm, I suppose I need to get it fixed along with a few other things that have not been working well! <3 David

    • 17. christina  |  March 5, 2010 at 1:07 am

      i agree and was going to post this. i know you shouldnt push people to come out until they are ready…but this guy needed outted. and so do all the other gays who hide themselves, yet put us down in the public light

  • 18. David Kimble  |  March 4, 2010 at 8:59 am

    Surprisingly, Roy Ashburn is the current Senator representing Kern County, where I live in California. There has been nothing in the local papers about his DUI. What I find remarkable is how such things can be ignored, yet if there is even a hint of scancal involving any Democrat, it is dragged through the press, like a rabid dog about to devour a child. <3 David

    • 19. Alan E.  |  March 4, 2010 at 9:03 am

      Because the Reagan Republican mantra is to not bash another republican. (I almost said Ronnie Republican, but that would have been disingenuous to the Ronnie here)

    • 20. David Kimble  |  March 4, 2010 at 9:22 am

      I stand corrected, the story did appear in the local paper, but there was no mention of anyone else in the car with him. <3David

      • 21. MordacP  |  March 4, 2010 at 10:11 am

        Nor did it say anything about him being in a gay bar.

        But that’s the Californian for you. Another reason I canceled my subscription.

    • 22. MordacP  |  March 4, 2010 at 10:10 am

      It was front page on today’s Bakersfield Californian.

  • 23. Ronnie  |  March 4, 2010 at 9:06 am

    Closeted Politicians are the equivalent of Jewish Swatzies…..yup I said it….<3…Ronnie

    • 24. Felyx  |  March 4, 2010 at 9:11 am

      Strangely ironic considering Hitler is theorized to have been in the closet!

  • 25. Ronnie  |  March 4, 2010 at 9:08 am

    “They are scared of their own shadows.”

    Well since now he is out….whether he likes it or not…Does that mean the Hate winter is over?….bwaaaaaaaa…..<3…Ronnie

  • 26. JimiG  |  March 4, 2010 at 9:20 am

    Just logged on to see if anyone has been following the UC Davis and the LGBT center attacks. There have been an increase of attacks on minorities.

    But over the last few weeks some violent attacks on campuses in California. I am at work so don’t have the time to look it up but was hoping someone could talk about this the one at UC Davis just 15 miles from the state capitol and less then 100 from San Fransisco is very troublesome.

    • 27. fiona64  |  March 4, 2010 at 9:26 am

      I just ripped a reporter a new one over on He mentioned the anti-Semitic attack at UC Davis, but neglected to mention the destruction of the LGBT center in his article on recent hate crimes.

      When I first called him out, one of his buddies said “Hey, he supports LGBT rights. You’re acting like he deliberately excluded that attack.”

      My response was something to the effect of “Considering that the events happened on the same day, and he neglected to mention one of them, it’s either deliberate exclusion or sloppy reporting.”



      • 28. fiona64  |  March 4, 2010 at 9:29 am

        Here’s the article. Feel free to chime in on what the reporter didn’t say.

      • 29. David Kimble  |  March 4, 2010 at 9:34 am

        Thanx, Fiona, for your work on this one! I don’t live in the area, but I am outraged by this kind of shoddy reporting! <3 David

      • 30. David Kimble  |  March 4, 2010 at 12:36 pm

        Yes, I agree, Fiona. BTW, someone told me you are connected to publisher’s – please send me an e-mail @, so we can talk more. <3 David

      • 31. Marlene Bomer  |  March 4, 2010 at 2:36 pm

        I really don’t consider this web site to be a very good news site.

        They have a bunch of crappy names under this “” banner, and some of the “reporting” is more of your low-end blog than true reporting.

        I stopped using it as a source for my TransNews segement on my radio show.

      • 32. fiona64  |  March 4, 2010 at 2:50 pm

        Hi, Marlene. I am an Examiner reporter. I agree that way too many of the reporters are *crap,* okay? There are rules that you are supposed to follow as a reporter — which include that the Examiner is NOT a blog and columns should not be treated as such. The San Jose “health care examiner” uses his beat as an opportunity to pontificate on teabagger Tea Party issues and puts out so much false information that I’ve questioned his claim that he is a physician.

        It frustrates me as a former newspaper editor and now part-time journalist, to tell you the truth. I can only tell you that the Examiner staff is now tightening up on the reporters, all of whom are independent contracts.

        I work hard to keep my column relevant, topical and *neutral.* Reporting is not the same as writing op-eds.

        And with that, I will step down from my soapbox and stop preaching to the choir.


      • 33. Marlene Bomer  |  March 4, 2010 at 8:45 pm

        Thanks for the info, Fiona…. I just with they’d not use “Examiner” all the time, tho. Use some better titles for these news sites, eh?

    • 34. Ronnie  |  March 4, 2010 at 9:39 am

      I read a few days ago also that a campus in Cali had some statues that somebody put pillow cases styled like Triple K hoods….I can’t find the article but when I do I’ll post it…unless somebody can elaborate on the story….<3…Ronnie

  • 36. Eddie  |  March 4, 2010 at 9:23 am

    Funny that the article had to qualify the nightclub as a “gay nightclub.” If it was a “straight nightclub” I doubt it would have been qualified as such. It reminds me of those people that throw in someone’s race for no reason when they talk about them: “So my coworker Jackie, she’s black, just had her baby.”

    • 37. Alan E.  |  March 4, 2010 at 9:30 am

      My mother-in-law talks like this. My husband calls her out on it every time. One of her friends, who made for a weird dinner guest btw, said she is not racist, just prejudiced.

      • 38. fiona64  |  March 4, 2010 at 1:04 pm

        Racism is institutional (under the law, anyway) — which is why, in theory, no person of color can be found to be racist in the legal arena. (I will not go into the whole horrible story of why I know this … despite my AA boss calling me “cracker” and worse. Heck, ,the investigator flat-out told me that if I had substituted the n-word for some of the things she called me, I’d be sued into next week, but his hands were tied under the law. It’s a very long and depressing story for another time.)

        OTOH, any damned fool can be prejudiced.


      • 39. jimig  |  March 4, 2010 at 7:19 pm

        Sometimes you have to call them out my wife and i were becoming friend with this couple they had kids the same age but after a few comments on different occations we were really wondering. But when we had a group of friends over they made another comment about gays infront of our friend he was polite enough not to say anything. But I did we don’t see the couple any more but we see our other friend and his boy friend on a regular basis and never once have they made a racist comment.

    • 40. David Kimble  |  March 4, 2010 at 9:43 am

      @Eddie The reason that “gay nightclub” is so important is that Senator Ashburn has been openly opposed to anything that is gay! He has been very outspoken in the small community, where I live about his “dislike” for anything gay. <3 David

      • 41. Eddie  |  March 4, 2010 at 10:02 am

        David, I completely understand that he needed to be outed as a dirtbag hypocrite, a la Haggard or Craig. I just hope that someday (in our lifetimes, doubtful) people will not have to qualify these things. Except to out dirtbag hypocrites, of course. :)

    • 42. christina  |  March 5, 2010 at 1:11 am

      i do this… i dont know why

  • 43. Ronnie  |  March 4, 2010 at 9:36 am

    I wanted to post this video because it is from one of my favorite episodes of “Frasier”….to go with this I want to ask…Does Haggie have a mother who is still alive?….you’ll get my point after you watch the video….lol….<3….Ronnie:

    • 44. Felyx  |  March 4, 2010 at 9:51 am

      OMG! This is one of my favorite episodes!! How true…how true!! Love Felyx

      “I was wrong Frasier…. Your way IS better!!!” – Roz

    • 45. Straight Ally #3008  |  March 4, 2010 at 2:06 pm

      +1000 for posting a Frasier clip!

    • 46. fern  |  March 7, 2010 at 6:10 am

      Ronnie I wanna thank you for Frasier and caught your drift about Haggie so after that I went on to UTUBE and I’ve been at it for two hours and I cried. Boys am I romantic!…
      I’m a fan now thanks to you.

      • 47. Ronnie  |  March 7, 2010 at 7:01 am

        You’re welcome fern…..<3…Ronnie

  • 48. JimiG  |  March 4, 2010 at 9:38 am

    Alen E, thank you so much for the perspective links I posted them all to my FB and shared them with some friends.

    I am trying to get the links for the picture of the trashing of UC Davis gender center.

    Anyway, thank you


    • 49. Alan E.  |  March 4, 2010 at 10:01 am

      The first link I posted, the one about the gay high school student, had me in tears, but I think part of that was due to the fact that I was already in tears from a particularly moving article that directly preceded it by Soraya Sarhaddi Nelson. I passed it off as a cold to the rest of my carpool.

      • 50. bJason  |  March 4, 2010 at 2:26 pm

        I heard the Nelson piece on my way from getting a biscuit. Needless to say it went uneaten but the napkins that came with it DID NOT go unused… I cried all morning.

      • 51. Alan E.  |  March 4, 2010 at 3:37 pm

        The waterworks started flowing when she started crying. I’ve always enjoyed her work in particular, but that story has propped her up even higher in my book.

      • 52. jimig  |  March 4, 2010 at 7:28 pm

        Thank you for all of the links, as the son of a lesbian couple I related to the conversation. Altthough in manyway i did not realate, by parents have been together since I was really young and I only have known them as a couple. I remember when I was 18 my sisters best friend asked me what I thought about being raise by lesbians. I looked at her and said my mom’s gay?

        You see I didn’t even realize she was gay because it was normal, healthy and loving. I guess that’s why I like the way the man said he new it was best for his mom.

  • 53. Jay  |  March 4, 2010 at 9:51 am

    There’s a bizarre kind of irony when people who claim to be staunch Christians turn out to be such utter hypocrites. After all, wasn’t it Jesus who said, “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You shut the kingdom of heaven in men’s faces. You yourselves do not enter, nor will you let those enter who are trying to.”?

    I wonder if he’ll issue that kind of apology to the LGBTQQI community. I doubt it, somehow.

    • 54. David Kimble  |  March 4, 2010 at 10:00 am

      @ Jay, I doubt he will issue any kind of apology to our community. I suspect he will do, as others like him have done…”I am so sorry…blah…blah…blah! <3 David

      • 55. Jay  |  March 4, 2010 at 10:02 am

        @David, I don’t doubt it. It certainly won’t be sincere if he does. Sigh. <3 Jay

      • 56. David Kimble  |  March 4, 2010 at 10:07 am

        @Jay, I just reread my statement and decided I needed to be more clear. his apology would be to the voters in Kern County. <3 David

      • 57. fiona64  |  March 4, 2010 at 1:06 pm

        Which always *really* translates to: “I am not sorry I did it, but I’m ever so sorry I was caught.”

        Fiona (whose dad has an “apology” script that goes “I’m sorry you were upset”)

      • 58. bJason  |  March 4, 2010 at 2:43 pm

        @ Fiona

        My ex-best friend did (and, I’m sure, still does) that. “I’m sorry you misunderstood me” and the like.

        The story of why we are EX best friends is indicative of what members of our community can face. I’ll share a quick version. Feel free to skip if not interested.

        Carol and I were best friends for almost 20 years. So much so that she asked me to be her “maid” of honor. The man she married was a high school sweet-heart who had dropped in and out of her life for almost 30 years (I hated him – he was not good to her — he hated me – not outwardly – I am gay). She declared he had changed, blah, blah. Anyway, we went through the wedding, it was great, yadda, yadda. Two weeks later she called me to tell me that he had issued an ultimatum to her. As he couldn’t understand or accept her “gay lifestyle” (the words he used), she had to choose A) him and their marriage – disavowing herself of her gay friends AND FAMILY MEMBERS or B) divorce – AFTER TWO WEEKS!!!! Her call was to apologize for telling me that she was choosing him.

        NOT COOL.

  • 59. JimiG  |  March 4, 2010 at 9:58 am

    I know it is off topic but I think important, not sure why I wasn’t up to date on this. What I do like is that for a change someone is investigating it as a hate crime. Which means it will be recorded as a hate crime against LGBT. I have not seen any cases of so called hate crimes against the yes on 8 people since the elections but clearly it is being continued against LGBT.

    And yes the kids doing this may very well be the children of those parents who we commonly refer to as ha8ers. No surprise that we are seeing a raise in violence.

    • 60. David Kimble  |  March 4, 2010 at 10:05 am

      JimiG, I have only seen allegations with no proof of anything. I find it revolting they caqn continue to play the victim. <3 David

  • 61. Richard Walter (soon to be Walter-Jernigan)  |  March 4, 2010 at 10:05 am

    This individual is just like the men I met in prison who were so anit-gay out on the prison yard, but if I wasn’t careful, they would be in the shower with me trying to have sex. And yet we are always the ones who are portrayed as scoping out the men. PUH-LEEZE!!!

    • 62. Ed-M  |  March 5, 2010 at 2:34 am

      Now we know the real reason the hateros always bring up the shower room argument against letting LGBT people in the military. It’s not the gay men who’ll scope the outspoken antigays out… it’s be the other way around! And it’s probably going on even as I type this!!! Thank you!

  • 63. Alan E.  |  March 4, 2010 at 10:17 am

    If you didn’t see Modern Family last night, I highly suggest you do. It was a great episode!

    • 64. Ronnie  |  March 4, 2010 at 10:20 am

      LMGAO….hahaha….I saw it….Every Gay Father’s nightmare….heheheh….<3…..Ronnie

      • 65. Alan E.  |  March 4, 2010 at 10:55 am

        I started to tear up after her comments to the dads neat the end, but then I burst out into a fit of laughter right after, and the tears kept coming. I had to stop it at that point and watch it again.

        Also the feminine energy comment was excellent.

    • 66. Felyx  |  March 4, 2010 at 10:21 am

      What was the plot? (For those of us who have slow connections…) Felyx

      • 67. Ronnie  |  March 4, 2010 at 10:26 am

        The Gay dads who adopted a baby girl from China said her first word and it was Mommy and she said it while their Female Japanese pediatrician was over for dinner….but there’s a twist at the end….<3…Ronnie

      • 68. Dieter  |  March 4, 2010 at 10:45 am

        IN THE NEWS:

        WASHINGTON (AFP) – US senators called Thursday for an end to a 1983 US rule that bans gay men from donating blood, calling the prohibition “outdated, medically and scientifically unsound.”

        Democratic Senator John Kerry led a group of 17 Democrats and one independent in writing US Food and Drug Administration Commissioner Margaret Hamburg to urge the agency to lift the restriction.

        “We write today to express our concerns regarding outdated, medically and scientifically unsound deferral criteria for prospective blood donors,” they wrote in the letter, which Kerry’s office made public.

        “With hospitals and emergency rooms across the country in constant and urgent need of blood products, we believe certain blood donor deferral policies should be reviewed and appropriately modified and modernized while ensuring the blood supply meets the highest possible standards,” they wrote.

        The American Red Cross and other health organizations support ending the ban, saying the law is “medically and scientifically unwarranted.”

        “All donated blood is mandated to be tested for HIV with two different, highly accurate tests. Between these two tests, the risk of tainted blood entering the blood supply undetected is virtually zero,” said Kerry’s office.

        The ban, enacted at the height of the HIV/AIDS crisis, bars men who have ever had sex with other men after 1977 from donating blood.

        Kerry’s office noted that prospective blood donors who have engaged in heterosexual sexual activity with a person known to have HIV are deferred for one year, while men who engage in protected gay sex are barred for life.

      • 69. Felyx  |  March 4, 2010 at 12:10 pm

        Thanks Ronnie, I will have to see it one of these days! Fe

    • 70. Kathleen  |  March 4, 2010 at 1:13 pm

      Funny show. I’ve never seen it before. I gave up network TV years ago, but just recently returned to watch Glee. Even then, I prefer watching it on hulu. I’ll have to catch this one.

      • 71. Alan E.  |  March 4, 2010 at 1:47 pm

        Modern Family is a great family show about how real families are in the world today. It is worth watching for anyone. They play up some stereotypes a little, but I feel that it shows some people can be stereotypical at times, but it doesn’t define them as a whole person.

    • 72. jimig  |  March 4, 2010 at 7:34 pm

      I freaking love this show, the first time I saw this I laughed harder than I have in years. My favorate if I had to have one was the play and childs music visit.

  • 73. Bolt  |  March 4, 2010 at 10:43 am

    I was sympathizing for him until you stated he used his political office as a weapon against marriage equality, and domestic partnerships. This guy is an asshole, and isn’t sorry for his drunk driving. He is only sorry that he was caught.

    Let’s get him!

  • 75. Gr8  |  March 4, 2010 at 10:56 am

    Gay guy goes to gay nightclub, drinks excessively, goes home with another guy for sex and to exchange STDs. And so the stereotype is affirmed again. Next thing you know, he’ll be announcing his intent to marry the guy he picked up, and they will adopt a kid. What a mess.

    • 76. Ronnie  |  March 4, 2010 at 10:59 am

      ummmm… : / …..?……<3…Ronnie

    • 77. PDXAndrew  |  March 4, 2010 at 12:48 pm

      Yes, it is a ‘mess’ — that our society is full of so much h8 and apathy that a reasonably powerful and successful man still has to lie to himself, his family, friends, and constituents.
      It is a ‘mess’ that he’s not free to be honest and embrace his true self.

      As far as him getting married, that is a ‘mess’ too — as it won’t happen. Not just because of the h8ful laws, but because he’s unfortunatley not going to find true love — not at this rate of denial, at least.

      To quote RuPaul, “if you can’t love yourself, how the heck are you going to love somebody else? Can I get an ‘Amen’?”

      LOVE, not h8,

      • 78. Ronnie  |  March 4, 2010 at 12:57 pm


      • 79. Bob  |  March 4, 2010 at 1:40 pm


      • 80. Ed-M  |  March 5, 2010 at 2:38 am

        And that is the oppression… that we who live in more ‘conservative’ are still NOT free to be ourselves and to be honest and open about ourselves.

      • 81. Ed-M  |  March 5, 2010 at 2:39 am

        …more ‘conservative’ areas are…

      • 82. Ed-M  |  March 5, 2010 at 2:40 am

        PREACH IT!

  • 83. Ronnie  |  March 4, 2010 at 11:13 am

    Posted on March 04, 2010
    Half of Americans Live With Gay Recognition Laws
    By Michelle Garcia

    In other words NOM….STFU and jump on the band wagon going over the rainbow into the sea of gold…..<3….Ronnie

  • 84. Kathleen  |  March 4, 2010 at 11:50 am

    This has likely already been said here, but when I first read the story of Ashburn’s arrest, I felt nothing but sad for this man. What a horrible life of self loathing he must live. But when I realized he has a history of actively campaigning against equality, my feelings shifted to anger. I still feel terrible for him, but it’s just not okay to go after other people to try to help yourself feel better. In my mind, there’s little that distinguishes this behavior from that of the schoolyard bully.

    I can only figure that he’s so afraid of people finding out who he really is, that if he were to support equal rights (or as a Republican, even stay neutral) people would question his motives and start poking around in his life.

    Nothing but bad comes from living in a dark closet.

    • 85. Bill  |  March 4, 2010 at 12:32 pm

      See the movie ‘Outrage’ if you have not.

      Ashburn is just one of MANY of these politicians…

      • 86. Kathleen  |  March 4, 2010 at 12:37 pm

        I haven’t seen this. When Michelle mentioned it earlier, it went on my Netflix list.

  • 87. Michelle Evans  |  March 4, 2010 at 12:07 pm

    I haven’t heard anyone mention the great recent documentary that goes into the idea of these types of politicians. There are a large number of gay-bashing politicians who happen to be closeted gays. The movie is called “OutRage” and is highly recommended. Too bad this incident didn’t occur sooner so it could have also been included in the film.

    The prevailing theory is that these guys are so afraid of being outed as gay, or so far in denial to even themselves about being gay, that they go out of their way to “prove” they are heterosexual by going after the LGBT community. This guy fits the profile to a tee.

  • 88. Bill  |  March 4, 2010 at 12:12 pm


    Oh, the humanity…

    • 89. Kathleen  |  March 4, 2010 at 12:22 pm

      And right on the heels of this…

      • 90. jimig  |  March 4, 2010 at 8:07 pm

        that’s just wrong, he should stay home and clean up his own house, oh sorry didn’t mean that because no one would be left.

    • 91. Michelle Evans  |  March 4, 2010 at 12:23 pm

      Just like with the politicians I mentioned in my post about “OutRage” it has always seemed to me that the church, particularly the Catholic Church, dost protest too much when it comes to LGBT. That was certainly born out by all the sexual “misconduct” found within the church, and the amazing part is that pretty much all of it was gay in nature. The Church is a bastion of righteousness and condemnation against gays, as a means of covering their own homosexuality.

      • 92. Bill  |  March 4, 2010 at 12:35 pm

        The Catholic Church actually took out an insurance policy to cover them from future child molestation claims.

        True story.

      • 93. Felyx  |  March 4, 2010 at 12:46 pm

        What will happen to the Church when all the gays decided to be out open and married?….who will carry on the priesthood?!!! This could be the beginning of the end for the RCC and indeed ALL foul skanky repressive religion!


      • 94. PDXAndrew  |  March 4, 2010 at 1:19 pm

        OMG, Felyx! I think you’ve finally solved the mystery! I’ve always wondered why so many closet cases go to the Catholic priesthood… The Chuch must have realized they would collapse without gay men coming to their rescue.
        So, they purposefully recruit them at a young age… Choir boys and alter boys…
        But they don’t just need gay men… They need CLOSETED gay men. Catholicism seems to be the Church of Perpetual Guilt, so they need priests so full of guilt they can only share it with their sheeple.
        Now, does the same hold true for nuns?

        Love, Andrew

      • 95. Felyx  |  March 4, 2010 at 1:49 pm

        You can be a great person and do great things in the name of God. All ya gotta do is never has sex with women and live with a bunch of men in near perpetual sexual frustration….sounds like something that might appeal to ya?

        Just exactly who would be attracted to this LIFESTYLE…?.

        And by the way, just who is trying to recruit who at such a young age?!!!

      • 96. jimig  |  March 4, 2010 at 7:35 pm

        Michelle,you think!

    • 97. Ronnie  |  March 4, 2010 at 3:35 pm

      The vatican has male whores….that is like a story line worthy of Michael Lucas….well at least they are trying to pay for it now…yeah?…..<3….Ronnie

      • 98. roxanne  |  March 4, 2010 at 4:27 pm

        Men who don’t mature sexually seek out the preisthood in much higher proportions than men who do mature, gay or not. When they don’t mature sexually their attractions are stuck at the age of sexual awareness, or like 14 years of age. They know this is wrong, and think joining th epriesthood and remaining celibate is their only option. That leaves you with a bunch of closeted homosexual pedophiles in the Catholic church. Weird but true.

    • 99. Ed-M  |  March 5, 2010 at 2:54 am

      And now we know why the RCC calls our expression of our sexuality “intrinsically disordered” and our orientation an “ovjective moral disorder:” because the hierarchy have severely warped the clerics’ OWN sexuality, by forbidding them to marry and express their sexuality in a healthy way.

  • 100. Michelle Evans  |  March 4, 2010 at 12:17 pm

    I also wanted to mention another incident that happened a couple of days ago that concerns my part of the LGBT spectrum, the T.

    There was a teacher who has been chastised for her Black History Month work with her students. While most people were showing off posters of people like Martin Luther King, she instead chose to go the opposite direction and actually bash black people by highlighting OJ Simpson, Dennis Rodman, and RuPaul. Parents and school officials were outraged by this.

    So we have then a murder, a spouse abuser, and a drag performer! All three were put out as bad examples of AA people. On the news reports I saw on places like ABC, there was more outrage concerning RuPaul than the other two. In other words, the idea of being a drag performer and transgender is actually considered as worse by many people than being a murderer or wife-beater!!!!

    And people wonder why I get more depressed ever day. I firmly believe that long after there is fuill equality and full acceptance throughout our country and our world of gays and lesbians, we who are transgender will still be scoffed and laughed at, and thrown under the bus when it comes to our rights to live a healthy and happy life, and one without fear of constant attack. There are many times when I feel that the only reason we live is so that others will always have a source of ridicule and that will be politically correct to do so.

    • 101. Kathleen  |  March 4, 2010 at 12:25 pm

      Michelle, I was shocked and deeply offended when I read this news report. We were discussing it in the last thread.

      Btw, did you catch my post about the school my g’son will be attending next year? I’m really pleased about the school’s commitment to diversity. It all starts with teaching the children.

    • 102. Ronnie  |  March 4, 2010 at 12:25 pm

      Michelle Evans you know I love you and I posted yesterday that NY passed the GENDA law which is adding Transgender Individuals to the Human Rights Act…so when you get down or depressed just say this…..<3…Ronnie:

      • 103. Michelle Evans  |  March 4, 2010 at 1:12 pm

        Thanks for the laugh, Ronnie, and also thanks for all the wonderful people on this group discussion. I hope you would never feel I would lump any of you in with all the others out there who despise trans folk. It’s just the rest of the world who hates us! :-)

      • 104. Ronnie  |  March 4, 2010 at 5:13 pm

        You’re welcome M.E…….I live my life like BeBe….I actually said that to some guy the other day….heheheh…..Kisses….<3…Ronnie

      • 105. Ronnie  |  March 4, 2010 at 5:15 pm

        except I’ve only done Drag twice…….<3…Ronnie

    • 106. David Kimble  |  March 4, 2010 at 12:48 pm

      Michelle, you will never hear or see this kind of despicable behavior from me! <3 David

      • 107. Bob  |  March 4, 2010 at 2:03 pm

        Michelle, I love you, these chat’s have gotten me for the first time ever to type LBGT instead of gay straight, I’m an old gay fart, still learning, I think it was Fern’s post the other day about sharing the racist ideas that where in her head but didn’t come out cause she caught them.
        I always thought if I was butch it made me better, daaaaahhh!!!!

        So grateful for all the education that happens here thanks for holding up the T, and getting me to say it. cheers

      • 108. Ed-M  |  March 5, 2010 at 2:57 am

        Or from me! <3 Ed-M

    • 109. Ed-M  |  March 5, 2010 at 3:03 am

      Michelle, when I first came back out after doing a 2-1/2 year stint in a “discipling” Xtian fundamentalist cult I met a handful of transgenders, transvestites and drag queens and let me tell you, they are the bravest, most courageous guys I met. They turn the concept of masculinity on its head!!!

      Now we get to see the gender stereotype pushers and hateros’ heads explode, HAHAHA.

  • 110. Ronnie  |  March 4, 2010 at 12:22 pm

    I love Ke$ha….and now her next music video has given me a reason to love her even more(cast almost entirely transgender individuals)….<3…Ronnie:$ha/

    Posted on March 04, 2010
    Keeping Up With Ke$ha

    "I just think that gay men have much better taste than any straight man I have met. I have never gotten any grief about having a good time, being unapologetic, and irreverent from a gay man. And let’s be honest, sometimes I wish I was a gay man. "

    "I am a huge fan of the transgender community. I am so not a proper, good female. I can’t dance in high heels and I’m just so not girly, but then I see these men with these banging bodies, dancing in heels, singing, and having so much fun with so much makeup on."

    "I mean, was I using that to sell records when I made out with chicks before I had a record out? I don’t realty care what people think. I just have to be myself. Like I just said, if I feel like kissing a woman, I will. I don’t really think I should have to explain that to any critic because I’m not asking them who they are going home and fu<king."

    Cool Chick's like this as well as Katy Perry, all of the tv shows, and Adam Lambert are why kids and teens are ok with the LGBTQQI community….and unless the Hateros can outlaw all things LGBTQQI the rest will follow….JMHGO…..<3…Ronnie

    • 111. PDXAndrew  |  March 4, 2010 at 1:26 pm

      ‘the Hateros can outlaw all things LGBTQQI’
      SHHH! Ronnie, please don’t give them any more ideas :)

      love, Andrew

      • 112. Ronnie  |  March 4, 2010 at 1:30 pm

        Oh trust me they already have those ideas….they just will not admit it…..<3…Ronnie

      • 113. Alan E.  |  March 4, 2010 at 1:54 pm

        But many DO admit it.

      • 114. Felyx  |  March 4, 2010 at 2:01 pm

        To all animal lovers among us,

        We hope you will take a moment of contemplation for our dearly Beloved Sasha and Sabachanka. Our two female dogs, both very old. Sasha went several months ago and Sabachanka is too sick (and we believe heartbroken over Sasha’s absence) to suffer any longer. The two were close and depended heavily on each other in their old age for sight and hearing. It would mean a lot to Papa Foma to read your condolences if you feel moved.
        Thank you, Felyx Son of Foma

      • 115. PDXAndrew  |  March 4, 2010 at 2:10 pm

        Unfortunately, I don’t doubt that one bit.

        It’s weird to say it, but I think I like Fred Phelps’s brand of pure, insane hatred. you know exactly where he stands (preferably right under a falling piano). There’s no guesswork. It’s almost refreshing in it’s own disgusting way.
        But Maggot Gagaller and the National Organisation for Misinformation, or Andy Repugno and, or Tony Prickins and Focus on the Financials… I just wish they’d be honest in their hatred, instead of pretending to ‘love the sinner’ and ‘but I have gay friends’.
        At least we could then fight them on a level battleground… No more using children as pawns.

        Of course, that’s just never going to happen. If they all went to Westboro like they really seem to want to, they’d alienate just too many of the ‘Mobile Middle’, and we’d win.

        Love, Andrew

      • 116. fiona64  |  March 4, 2010 at 2:28 pm

        Oh, Felyx. My sincere condolences to you. Our animal friends are so important to us. A friend sent a poem to me many years ago after I lost a beloved pet, and I have found comfort in it many times. Here it is for you.

        Last Night

        I stood by your bed last night; I came to have a peep.
        I could see that you were crying; you found it hard to sleep.

        I whined to you softly as you brushed away a tear,
        “It’s me, I haven’t left you. I’m well, I’m fine,I’m here.”

        I was close to you at breakfast; I watched you pour the tea.
        You were thinking of the many times your hands reached down to me.

        I was with you at the shops today; your arms were getting sore.
        I longed to take your parcels; I wished I could do more.

        I was with you at my grave today; you tend it with such care.
        I want to reassure you that I’m not lying there.

        I walked with you towards the house as you fumbled for your key.
        I gently put my paw on you: I smiled and said “It’s me.”

        You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair.
        I tried so hard to let you know that I was standing there.

        It’s possible for me to be so near you every day.
        To say to you with certainty, “I never went away.”

        You sat there very quietly, then smiled. I think you knew,
        In the stillness of that eening, I was very close to you.

        The day is over. I smile and watch you yawning,
        And say “Good night, God bless. I’ll see you in the morning.”

        And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide,
        I’ll rush across to greet you and we’ll stand side-by-side.

        I have so many things to show you; there is so much for you to see.
        Be patient, live your journey out; then come home to be with me.

        Author Unknown


      • 117. David Kimble  |  March 4, 2010 at 2:55 pm

        Felyx, words fail me, when things like this happen, however I have experienced your loss, so know you are thought of dearly! Thanx, Fiona, for the beautiful poem. I wanted to share one, but alas, I can’t find it, through the tears. <3 David

      • 118. David Kimble  |  March 4, 2010 at 3:45 pm

        Here’s another one

        I’m Still Here

        Friend, please don’t mourn for me,

        I’m still here, though you don’t see.

        I’m right by your side each night and day,

        And within your heart I long to stay.

        My body is gone but I’m always near,

        I’m everything you feel, see or hear.

        My spirit is free, but I’ll never depart,

        As long as you keep me alive in your heart.

        I’ll never wander out of your sight.

        I’m the brightest star on a summer night.

        I’ll never be beyond your reach.

        I’m the warm moist sand when you’re at the beach.
        for you, Felyx. <3 David

      • 119. Straight Ally #3008  |  March 4, 2010 at 3:50 pm

        Felyx, I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. :(

      • 120. Papa Foma  |  March 4, 2010 at 4:59 pm

        To Fiona, I am in tears. I appreciate your care. Papa Foma

        To David, Your expression through the poem is comforting, Thank you. Lova Papa Foma

        To SA3k8, Some things are a loss, but some things are beautiful. Both were 15 and it was time. Thank you so much. Felyx and PF

      • 121. Sheryl Carver  |  March 4, 2010 at 7:43 pm

        Oh, Felyx, I am so sorry for your loss.

        Even though I believe that the spirit of every living being continues after what we call death, their passing leaves a big whole in our here & now.

        One of the best “comics” I ever saw showed 2 angels talking, while beside them was a dog sled with a variety of breeds hitched up to it. One angel said, “what’s not to like here? Warm sunshine, fluffy clouds, & every dog I ever loved.” I keep that in mind every time one of my 4-footed family members passes. I just amend the “dog” to “being”, as my family has also included a wide variety of species.

        May you someday soon find that you only recall the happy times with Sasha and Sabachanka.

        Love, Sheryl

      • 122. K!r!lleXXI  |  March 4, 2010 at 11:50 pm

        @Felyx and @Papa Foma
        You’ve sent me the picture of Sobachonka, but I had no idea that she is so sick. I am so sorry!
        My lovely cat died over a year ago, and I still can’t believe she’s gone. On some level I still think she’s just outside, running around the neighborhood and climbing the trees… I miss her, and I’ll never forget her.


  • 123. Ronnie  |  March 4, 2010 at 1:54 pm


    Posted on March 04, 2010
    Gay Rights Victory In Poland
    By Kenneth Harvey

    “The European Court of Human Rights determined a municipality in Poland committed a human rights violation when it denied Piotr Kozak’s petition to inherit his partner’s tenancy agreement after he died, the Financial Times reported.”

    (me) Piotr had a de facto marital cohabitation with his partner

    basically they are saying that this effects Poland’s constitution….SWEEEEEETTT!!!!….next…..<3…Ronnie

  • 124. Straight Ally #3008  |  March 4, 2010 at 2:09 pm

    Did anyone, while reading about anti-gay marriage gay man Sen. Ashburn, think of Dave Chappelle’s character Clayton Bigsby, the black white supremacist?

    • 125. PDXAndrew  |  March 4, 2010 at 2:20 pm

      OMG, you are so RIGHT! I hadn’t thought of the character, but now that’s the face that goes with this article.
      Ronnie, o great YouTube wizard, got any clips to share, please?

      Love, Andrew

      • 126. Alan E.  |  March 4, 2010 at 4:40 pm

        I would get it for you, but they recently blocked all of Youtube at work.

      • 127. Straight Ally #3008  |  March 4, 2010 at 5:01 pm

        (Ahem, the embed didn’t work)

        Clayton Bigsby, Part 1.

        Keep in mind that Chappelle’s satire pulls no punches, including…er…authentic language.

      • 128. Straight Ally #3008  |  March 4, 2010 at 5:02 pm

        Clayton Bigsby, Part 2.

      • 129. Ronnie  |  March 4, 2010 at 5:17 pm

        Ok….I did find that vid…but wanted you to know I wan’t ignoring….I’m not good with HTML so I was trying to figure out how to post the vid without posting the whole thing…<3…Ronnie

    • 130. Straight Ally #3008  |  March 4, 2010 at 4:56 pm

      OK, here goes. Keep in mind that Chappelle’s satire pulls no punches, including…er…authentic language.

      Chappelle’s ShowFrontline – Clayton Bigsbyhttp://www.comedycentral.comBuy Chappelle’s Show DVDsBlack ComedyTrue Hollywood Story

  • 131. PDXAndrew  |  March 4, 2010 at 2:31 pm

    I’m sorry to hear about Sasha and Sabachanka. Pets are indeed part of our families, our lives. I’m sure you’ve given them more love than you’ve given us on this site — which has been a lot, and I thank you — and I’m certain they returned that love.
    If we take the assumption that the hateros lied about our final destination like they lie about everything else, I feel confident they’re just waiting for you to come home to play.
    Just don’t be in any hurry to leave us anytime soon, please :)


    • 132. PDXAndrew  |  March 4, 2010 at 2:45 pm

      And @fiona64,
      thanks for the poem, much better than anything I could come up with. It made me cry, and my coworkers are looking at me all weird.

      Love, Andrew

    • 133. Papa Foma  |  March 4, 2010 at 5:06 pm

      Dear Andrew,
      We take on pets knowing that they will not live as long as we do. Even though their leaving is emotional it is sharing our lives that counts. I will assure you that the thought of winning over P8 is adding years to my life. Love Papa Foma

      To PDX, I ain’t gunna go nowhere any too soon, maybe when any of you visit Raleigh…I can put you up…we’ll have fun. Felyx

  • 134. Ronnie  |  March 4, 2010 at 2:34 pm

    For Felyx………<3…Ronnie:

  • 135. Ronnie  |  March 4, 2010 at 3:07 pm

    Also for Felyx:

    Our friends we love them so are more like family who always show their lovely glow……

    Though they cannot talk to me….they Purr, Lick, and are cuddly…..

    When I’m down and have a frown they put a smile on my face that was upside down….

    When I’m sick they stay so close and heal me more then most…..

    When I’m mad they know to stay away while inching in a cute way to say lets play…..

    They depend on us to depend on them and that is why all pets are called human’s best friend….

    But to me by pet is truly my family……<3….Ronnie

    • 136. Papa Foma  |  March 4, 2010 at 5:10 pm

      To Ronnie, I needed that laugh! Thanks for the encouraging poem! Papa Foma

    • 137. Bry  |  March 4, 2010 at 6:33 pm

      I too send my condolances, I can’t read the poems though, I’m really tender-hearted and things like that depress me to no end and I’ve had a bad enough 3 months already but hugs all around, it’s never easy, our pets are definitely our families.

  • 138. David Kimble  |  March 4, 2010 at 3:18 pm

    This is for you, Felyx <3 David
    Healing I noticed a toy of yours the other day It hurt so that I had to look away I never could stand to move it I saw it again, though, just yesterday And it brought comfort my way I put it safely in my closet And remembered you, with a smile Thanks For All the Love I miss the little sounds you made That were only meant for me The droopy stares you shot my way Knowing no one else would see I smile when I think of you Peacefully resting up above Because I can hear you calling me Saying "Thanks for all the love" Homeward Bound Watching you grow was such a joy From the little ball I first brought home To the companion always by my side Amazed at the trust you gave me Comforted by the love we shared Looking around at your favorite places The hidden spaces I would not have known I realize those corners are the graces That has made my heart your home New Mourning I mourn for you when the days slow down When the sun begins to set and things get quiet I reflect on the time we spent slowing down Settling down, drifting, dozing, dreaming Side by side we slipped into another morning Now when the first day's light hits my face I know you've waken and are reaching down To say good morning, to help ease my mourning Because you are a light that will not fade Smile Again You're gone but not forever. I smile when I see pictures, remembering all the good times we spent together. I am strong; Even stronger, to speak the words of our memories to others. To smile, when I don't want to smile. To laugh is easier as days pass by. You're with me forever in my heart. A treasure deep within to steer me on. A precious gift that will not fade. You were more than my pet, my friend, companion, and my family.

    • 139. Papa Foma  |  March 4, 2010 at 5:15 pm

      Great Dave….now he is bawling again….thanks…with love. ;`p Fe

      (Papa Foma really is crying….so I am answering for him. but they are tears of joy. Sincerely, Felyx)

    • 140. Felyx  |  March 4, 2010 at 5:29 pm

      Thank you all again, and thank you to those who have yet to write. Pop Foma is half the time at my house in Raleigh and half the time up here in the mountains with me. These last few months he had to bring Sabachonka with him on his trips as she would bark and cry without him. Today she became extremely ill and Pop had to make a humane decision, (one which the Catholic Church as well as many other so called compassionate religious would deny to us who are humans.) This has been extremely painful considering he is losing sight in one eye and needs regular injections, one of which was for today. So crying for him has been especially painful.
      Life however is a celebration. We both of us are making the move to the NC Capital City Raleigh in order to bring about greater social justice and change. We appreciate all your goodwill and again will join you on FB and other social sites as soon as we are completely relocated. Thank you for your support, thank you for your love thank you for adopting us into your lives.
      Love, Felyx and Papa Foma and someday soon maybe мой младший брат.

      • 141. David Kimble  |  March 4, 2010 at 5:40 pm

        Thank you for sharing your time of grief, it helps all of us realize what is important in life! I cried too and there is nothing wrong with this practice. It is the body’s way of healing. Felyx, you wrote something I was particularly taken with – “So crying for him has been especially painful. Life however is a celebration.” I wish that all people could view life from your perspective – it is one of the healthiest ones I have encountered in life. Life is always give and take and to believe otherwise is to ignore, when we lose someone or something in life. Love, David

  • 142. CeeVee  |  March 4, 2010 at 3:56 pm

    I was listening to The Takeaway on NPR this morning and they had a piece on how the government is considering an update to the way they calculate poverty. A 74-year-old woman from New York named Delores Miller was featured. She’s is in the process of being evicted from her apartment and has been fighting this in the courts for the past 2 years since her partner’s death. She has no family to speak of and is scheduled for eviction next Wednesday. I’d like for this hypocrite Asburn to look Delores in the eye and explain why he’s against gay rights and gay marriage. If it were Delores’ husband who’d passed, she wouldn’t be in such a sad mess. Clearly she just wants to live for the rest of her life with some semblance of security. The story is work a listen.

    CeeVee from Charleston, SC

  • 143. CeeVee  |  March 4, 2010 at 3:57 pm

    Here’s the link

  • 144. jimig  |  March 4, 2010 at 7:03 pm

    I am trying to read updates but wanted to know if anyone was updated not only on the UC Davis event but the beatings at I think it was UC Riverside?

  • 145. jimig  |  March 4, 2010 at 7:48 pm

    Here is a clip, from UC Davis,0,2002090.story

  • 146. Straight Ally #3008  |  March 8, 2010 at 10:06 am

    Ho-lee crap. Ashburn really is Clayton Bigsby. He just came out and says he’ll keep pushing anti-gay legislation. Just…wow.

    • 147. Ronnie  |  March 8, 2010 at 10:19 am

      This self-hating @$$whole is just as bad as every other Hatero that says….“I felt my duty, and I still feel this way, is to represent my constituents.”……and…….“I believe firmly that my responsibility is to my constituents. I will take a careful look at each measure and apply that standard. How would they vote on this? How would they want me to vote on this,”……..

      (me) The problem is…that the Hateros constantly ignore that LGBTQQI people are also their consituents….They ignore that we pay taxes also….I mean honestly…I really am getting tired of having to say….”you can take my money(taxes) but not give all the rights and benefits that money pays for?……Now answer me this closet case Hatero B!tch by default…..If the boston tea party and the colonials said…”Ok keep taxing us and take our rights away”….would you be a senator today?…..That’s what I thought….<3…Ronnie

      • 148. fiona64  |  March 8, 2010 at 10:21 am

        On top of which — he knew perfectly well that if he was out, he could NEVER be elected in his district. NEVER.

        Fiona64 (who has indeed walked the Streets of Bakersfield … yep, a gratuitous Buck Owens reference, but one that actually fits here)

  • 149. Mike  |  June 26, 2010 at 7:12 am

    Hi 126,
    Found this site which Unblock Youtube.
    Hope this solve your problem.


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