Let Constance Take Her Girlfriend to Prom

March 13, 2010 at 10:19 am 75 comments

By Julia Rosen

All Constance McMillen wanted to do was buy a ticket for her and her girlfriend and attend prom together. But her high school, Itawamba Agricultural High in Mississippi told her that she couldn’t bring her girlfriend, also a student at IAHS, and that if they arrived separately but slow-danced together they might be thrown out. So Constance went to the ACLU and they wrote a letter to the district demanding that the couple be allowed to go to prom. In response, the school simply canceled the prom for all of the students. The ACLU has filed a lawsuit in federal court on First Amendment, freedom of expression grounds.

I guess they figured it was better that none of the kids get to have this rite of passage, than be exposed to the evil of a teenager dancing with her girlfriend.

Constance has an incredibly supportive family that has been behind her throughout this ordeal. She appeared on CBS News today, and did a wonderful job. Many adults would not have been so poised and collected when talking to a national reporter.


The ACLU started a Facebook fan page called “Let Constance Take Her Girlfriend to Prom” and over 100,000 people have joined in just a few days. It’s been mentioned in a lot of the news coverage, and Constance has noted in interviews that she has been buoyed by all of the support coming online.

Dan Savage has the contact information up for the school board members and superintendent. Should you choose to give them a piece of your mind, please be politer to them than they have been to Constance. It’s all too easy for them to turn around and start talking about “hate mail”.

The Stonewall Democrats have started a petition to support out Rep. Jared Polis’s bill to stop school districts like Itawamba from being able to discriminate against LGBT students like Constance. It’s called the Student Non-Discrimination Act and they are working on building co-sponsors in Congress on the bill.

The sad thing about all of this is that it’s not surprising that it happened and it’s highly unlikely that Constance is the only openly gay high schooler who was told that they are not allowed to bring a same-sex date to the prom or another school dance. But by making a big deal out of this incident, it lets students across the country know that that it isn’t acceptable and that they can fight it. So do what you can to help spread the word. Fan the group, invite your friends to join it. Sign petitions. Talk to your legislators. Let students know they are not alone.

Entry filed under: Right-wing.

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75 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Ronnie  |  March 13, 2010 at 11:23 am


  • 2. Kathleen  |  March 13, 2010 at 11:37 am

    Done. Done. and Done.

  • 3. Mac  |  March 13, 2010 at 11:39 am

    I have emailed all of the School board members. Tried to find a email for the South Side Baptist Church’s pastor who made an ignorant comment, and now to email the Fulton MS mayor. I hope they get showered with truth mail and realize just how homophobic they are.

    • 4. dieter  |  March 13, 2010 at 11:56 am

      ok here is what they need to do:

      have EVERYONE in the school show up in a tuxedo…male / female / straight / gay……

      their only choice would be to shut down the entire school. then all those teachers can enjoy unemployment.

      problem solved.

      • 5. Nicole  |  March 14, 2010 at 10:39 am

        Unless I’ve misunderstood what I’ve read it’s the school administration deciding this- not the teachers. As a teacher I know that often the administration makes decisions that the teaching staff don’t agree with. Just wanted to make sure that we aren’t blaming the teachers without proof that they’re in on this despicable act.

  • 6. Waxr  |  March 13, 2010 at 12:09 pm

    The school board is being crafty. When they announced that the prom was being canceled, they suggested that a private group could sponsor the dance. By taking the prom private they would be able to discriminate against whomever they wished.

  • 7. Richard Lulenski  |  March 13, 2010 at 12:10 pm

    Constance is so poised, clear and frank in the video interviews I have seen. I admire her. She deserves all the support and more that she is getting. When I was her age I was too afraid to do what she is doing, and I was relieved that my brother’s wedding was the day of my prom so I had a good excuse for not going. Constance is amazing!

  • 8. Waxr  |  March 13, 2010 at 12:11 pm

    The school board is crafty. When they announced that the prom was canceled, they suggested that a private group could sponsor the dance. By taking the prom private they would be able to discriminate against whomever they wished.

  • 9. Richard W. Fitch  |  March 13, 2010 at 12:50 pm

    Sorry I don’t have the links at hand. A hotel owner in NOLA has offered to sponsor the prom and bus the whole crowd to the event. How much better could a ‘private’ party get!!

    • 10. Straight Ally #3008  |  March 13, 2010 at 4:10 pm

      Here is the link, Richard. :)

  • 11. Jessica  |  March 13, 2010 at 12:51 pm

    I live in Mobile, Al, graduated in ’09, and I had the same problem at my high school about prom. They just wouldn’t allow my girlfriend and I to go as a couple. I wrote a letter to my local newspaper and was going to get interviewed about this issue but at the time my girlfriend wasn’t out of the closet to her family, and was scared that her family would disown her. So I just let the news slip by and didn’t go to my senior prom.

    I’m glad that Constance has a supportive family and has stepped up to face this.

    • 12. Straight Grandmother  |  March 13, 2010 at 1:38 pm

      Jessica, really you could not go? Did they post rules say hetrosexual couples only or what? Tell us more of this story, exactly what happened?

      • 13. Jessica  |  March 17, 2010 at 8:48 pm

        they just straigh up told me i could not buy a ticket for my girlfriend and I.

        the year before the senior class president had tried to take his boyfriend with him and went to the principal about it and he said he just wanted to avoid problems that might arise from it.

  • 14. Straight Grandmother  |  March 13, 2010 at 1:33 pm

    I also followed the link to the e-mail addresses for everybody and e-mailed all of them. But 4 of them the mail came back so they must be inundated. I have a catchy subject line to my e-mails, “From France- Condemnation” I bet it gets read. I wnat to let them know that they are being condemed around the world.

  • 15. Ronnie  |  March 13, 2010 at 1:43 pm


    Posted on Advocate.com March 13, 2010
    Antigay Attacks Videotaped in S.F.
    By Advocate.com Editors

    “Three Bay Area men charged with hate crimes for allegedly assaulting men whom they perceived to be gay on San Francisco streets had videotaped multiple attacks, law enforcement officials said Friday.”

    (me) So not only did the Hateros shoot some innocent guys in the face with air rifles but they video taped it…I’m betting with all intentions of posting them online…..IDIOTS…..good luck trying to prove innocence with that…..NOT!!!!!……If their heads don’t role….It will just be one more thing that pokes the Yellowstone caldera to wake up….can you hear it?……that old faithful is getting p.o.ed…..I’m just saying….<3…Ronnie

  • 16. Brittany  |  March 13, 2010 at 1:57 pm

    Lesbian students have been told they can’t attend my school’s prom until lately. We’ve finally convinced our school to allow us to form a Gay-Straight Alliance, and now we are moving to more equality in a conservative Georgia school.

  • 17. Chris  |  March 13, 2010 at 2:27 pm

    I read somewhere that upon returning to school, some of the students have told Constance ‘thanks for ruining my senior year.’ This is the mindset of way too many people out there, that the victim of discrimination is the bad guy and that the authorities–whether at school, at work, wherever–are right to punish everyone over one person.

    As to the local pastor who complains about people thinking they’re all backwoodsy out there: if the shoe fits…

    I wish everybody would take their educations seriously, and maybe the majority of this intolerance and bigotry would go away?

    • 18. fern  |  March 14, 2010 at 7:28 am

      ‘thanks for ruining my senior year.’

      I would have said the same and I think it’s only normal for a kid to say that and she did ruin it for them.

      What I believe is diabolic is that the school disclosed the “reasons” for canceling the prom.

      • 19. Ronnie  |  March 14, 2010 at 7:42 am

        she didn’t ruin it for them….the school did….what about her senior year?….Her senior year is ruined also…..because of some Hatero adults that have no tolerance for people who are different…..<3….Ronnie

    • 20. fern  |  March 14, 2010 at 7:40 am

      ‘thanks for ruining my senior year.’

      I would have said the same and I think it’s only normal for a kid to say that and she did ruin it for them.

      What I believe is diabolic is that the school unofficially disclosed the “reasons” for canceling the prom.

  • 21. Marlene Bomer  |  March 13, 2010 at 2:53 pm

    As usual, the group who makes sleazy divorce lawyers look legitimate, the Liberty Council, has crawled out of the cesspool to announce they’re going to support the school board in order to protect “teh childrenz” from those two eeeevil lesbians.

    • 22. Kathleen  |  March 13, 2010 at 3:04 pm

      Of course they have.

      Your post led me to their website. They’re advertising for a new hire:

      It’s reads like a SNL parody.
      Necessary qualifications include proven management skills, high moral character, excellent oral and writing ability, superior academic background and eligibility for Virginia Bar admission without examination.

      They seem to have left out a few requisites:
      – capable of skewing constitutional doctrines in service to the Lord Almighty
      – able to make up “facts” and produce supporting documentation that seems plausible enough to convince the uneducated masses
      – ability to engage in oral arguments while having head firmly up own ass

      • 23. Ronnie  |  March 13, 2010 at 3:09 pm

        I wonder how much weight the “excellent oral” ability carries?……I’m just saying…..<3….Ronnie

    • 24. Waxr  |  March 14, 2010 at 12:21 pm

      The Liberty Council claims to be “dedicated to advancing religious freedom”, so why isn’t it advancing the religious freedom of Constance McMillen?

  • 25. Straight Ally #3008  |  March 13, 2010 at 4:30 pm

    I have been pondering something, fellow trackers, regarding how this case fits into the bigger picture of society’s perceptions. Do you think there would be the same outpouring of support had Constance been Conrad? I would have to say no – not that there would be no support, mind you, just less, and most likely even more outcry from the anti- side. What do you think?

    • 26. Ronnie  |  March 13, 2010 at 4:51 pm

      Wait…I have a video for that….

      • 27. Ronnie  |  March 13, 2010 at 4:51 pm

        forgot to…..<3…Ronnie

      • 28. David Kimble  |  March 13, 2010 at 4:59 pm

        Thanx, Ronnie, I guess a Queen is a Queen – let them eat cake! ROFLMAO <3 David

      • 29. JQ  |  March 13, 2010 at 6:16 pm

        I think he makes a lovely Queen!

  • 30. David Kimble  |  March 13, 2010 at 4:44 pm

    @ Straight Ally #3008 – I don’t believe this is a correct assumption, at least from my perspective, since discrimination and hatred need to be exposed to the light of day, regardless of whom is involved. I would have been just as outraged if Constance had been Conrad. This all goes to the same basic principle, we all should have the same rights regardless! <3 David

    • 31. Straight Ally #3008  |  March 13, 2010 at 4:50 pm

      David, just as a quick clarification, I mean the response from America as a whole. I’d be just as surprised if it made any difference to you or any of the regulars here, or to others who are similarly part of the cause. :)

      • 32. David Kimble  |  March 13, 2010 at 5:10 pm

        OK, thanx for the clarification, I guess I misunderstood what you were saying and I concur to a degree. There have been several movies and tv shows done about this issue – Queer as Folk (Showtime Network) had Justin going to his Senior Prom with his lover, Brian. Here’s a clip

  • 33. David Kimble  |  March 13, 2010 at 4:48 pm

    Here is the story referenced in the story by Julia <3 David

  • 34. lsfoster  |  March 13, 2010 at 5:08 pm

    I remember a few years back, my mom was teaching at a high school and was the supervisor for the junior class board. She came home once from a meeting where they were preparing for prom, and one of the students had brought up that the school had released some rules for prom, and one of them was basically a restriction on people bringing same-sex dates. My mom just looked at the kid, then said, “Right, well we’re going to act like we never read that.” and moved on. I remember feeling so happy and proud when she told me that story. :)

  • 35. Richard Walter (soon to be Walter-Jernigan)  |  March 13, 2010 at 5:24 pm

    And I hope I get to meet Constance and her girlfriend, so that I can tell tem face to face what sheroes they are. They are both very heroic, and I applaud them for wanting to have the full experience of high school. I also hope the mindless “adults” who are trying to deprive them of this get their just rewards, and lose the respect of their children unless they repent and go ahead with the prom.

  • 36. Ronnie  |  March 13, 2010 at 8:11 pm

    I just watched Constance on Wanda Sykes….she is gorgeous……and I love the way she carries herself….she just kind of shrugs it off….Wanda gave her great a gift….but yawl on the east coast are just gonna have to wait for that info…..lol…..<3….Ronnie

    • 37. Ronnie  |  March 13, 2010 at 10:34 pm

      lol….i meant west coast….anywho…..its a really cool gift for her….i hope she has fun….<3…Ronnie

    • 38. Straight Grandmother  |  March 14, 2010 at 3:12 am

      Ronnie I am not in the United States and I am not able to view most tv or cable videos (only CNN). They read my IP address as not being in the USA and I get a message saying that since I am outside the United States the video is not available. Can you kindly re-cap what happened on the Wanda Sykes show?

      • 39. Ronnie  |  March 14, 2010 at 6:17 am

        Wanda is getting an award from GLAAD I think it was….and she invited Constance to be the person who gives it to her and she told her to bring her girlfriend with her….its cool yeah?……<3…Ronnie

  • 40. JQ  |  March 13, 2010 at 9:13 pm

    Off topic, but a WIN for all of our I’s:


    • 41. Richard Walter (soon to be Walter-Jernigan)  |  March 13, 2010 at 10:04 pm

      This is FANTASTC!!!♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ This truly is a revolution, and I hope it spreads around the world!

    • 42. Kathleen  |  March 13, 2010 at 10:55 pm

      What a wonderful story. Wasn’t there someone on the board who, a week or so ago, was asking the question about why does the government insist on assigning gender?

      I’ve often thought that it might be ideal for the human species to evolve to the place where gender could be manifested at will, allowing fluidity and change whenever we wanted. I think it would be interesting to live some of the time as a man, though I don’t think I’d want to be a man most of the time. Just a bit of my utopian musings.

      • 43. Ronnie  |  March 14, 2010 at 7:06 am

        OMG!!!…..Kathleen there’s a movie about that called “Zerophilia”….I enjoy being a guy but sometimes do wonder what it would feel to be female……lol….anywho here’s the trailer……<3…Ronnie:

  • 44. elizabeth  |  March 14, 2010 at 7:43 am

    so, my lovely letter:
    To Superintendent Teresa McNeece; Principal Trae Wiygul; School Board Member Eddie Hood; School Board Member Jackie Nichols; School Board Member Harold Martin; School Board Member Clara Brown; and School Board Member Tony Wallace,

    As a young woman who grew up without the ability to take my significant other to prom, my heart goes out to Constance. I don’t know if your fear is based on personal hate or is the fear of how others may have reacted. I know I haven’t always been willing to take the courageous stand myself. I do however know this, that as a tax-funded entity, you do have to be fair. And as leaders and caretakers of children, you have been blessed with a great responsibility. So for y’all, speaking on the side of a quickly dying prejudice or on the side of personal self-protection is not a good message for your wards. Nor is it the right message. Regardless of maybe some of the views you hold against homosexual conduct, it is your job to instruct these children to be able to live their lives in the wider world; and I’m afraid you’re failing a lot of these students.
    As Constance has been showing in these past few days, she’s an amazingly poised, thoughtful and intelligent teenager. Her communication skills reflect those taught at your high school. And instead of being able to take credit for your success with teaching and shaping her, your school district has become the enemy.
    I do urge you to reconsider your decision. I know this has been a trying time for all of y’all and your families. But making this decision is not just a political or religious stance, you are playing into a dangerous plot that will encourage violence against human beings that happen to be gay. You are encouraging hate and violence against the children you are meant to protect.
    Thank you,
    Elizabeth [last name]

    • 45. Sheryl Carver  |  March 14, 2010 at 9:58 am

      Excellent letter, Elizabeth!

      You’ve got pretty good communication skills yourself!

  • 46. Zander  |  March 14, 2010 at 8:11 am

    I’ve been looking around the internet for any videos about Constance appearing on the Wanda Sykes show since I saw Ronnie’s comment, but no dice… by chance has anyone stumbled across anything?

    Also on a side note, after having a rough day, my best friend sent me this link. I’m not exactly sure if I should post it, but it made my day a whole lot better. It may take a few minutes to load, but I loved it.


    • 47. Ronnie  |  March 14, 2010 at 8:23 am

      Zander…you can watch it here…..<3…Ronnie:


      • 48. Straight Grandmother  |  March 14, 2010 at 9:41 am

        Well those of you in the USA can see it via the link Ronnie posted, I cannot as I am in France. But that is fine Ronnie responded to my earlier post and described what happened. Many thanks!

      • 49. Rightthingtodo TX  |  March 15, 2010 at 6:37 pm



        wanda sykes is great.

        thanks for the link Ronnie

        does anyone know if it the glaad awards will be available for viewing? i googled and couldn’t find any info.

      • 50. Ronnie  |  March 15, 2010 at 6:45 pm

        You’re welcome, Rightthingtodo TX…..I don’t know if awards are available yet….I will look into that 2morro…..<3…Ronnie

  • 51. Wolfinlv  |  March 14, 2010 at 8:20 am

    Ok have an idea… Get a big group together go down there hire a hall and hold the prom for them. Do it free of charge and let EVERY kid come. Hire security to keep it on the up and up but hire them from somewhere else to also keep it on the up and up.

    Just an idea.

    • 52. Straight Grandmother  |  March 14, 2010 at 9:47 am

      Wolfinlv you are sooooo KIND!!
      I have been checking the internet on Constance McMillian and see where there are at least 2 firm offers to underwrite the an inclusinve prom. Once anonoymus is offering to fund $20,000 matching. I don’t have the links handy but it wasn’t hard to find.

      But for you to be so moved to even suggest throwing a prom here, that shows your kind heart. I suggest finding those sites and contributiong. I knwo when it slows down later today that is what I will be doing.

      I am really outraged over this. I talked with our son and our daughter today via Skype and told them that I am now an Equality Warrior. I think they were amused but also impressed.

      • 53. Richard Walter (soon to be Walter-Jernigan)  |  March 14, 2010 at 12:06 pm

        SG, I am going to try and download lasst night’s episode to my laptop and burn it onto a DVD. If you are on FB, friend me and send me a private message with your snail mail addy and I will send itto you as soon as I get it done. I will warn you though–get your case of Kleenexes handy. This will make you that happy.

      • 54. Sheryl  |  March 14, 2010 at 5:43 pm

        My son also finds it quite nice that his mother has become so passionate about equality for all. As I told him about prop 8, I would have voted no even if he were straight. You just don’t take rights away from people.


    • 55. Waxr  |  March 14, 2010 at 7:11 pm

      The best solution would be for the school board to reverse their decision.

      The idea of a privately sponsored open prom has me worried. Even if the other students wanted to participate, it would put them in the uncomfortable position of publically supporting homosexuality, and many of them would have to go to the prom against their parents approval. Then there would be protesters trying to break it up.

      Anti-gay rights groups will undoubtedly put forward plans for a closed prom. It would be up to the students to vote on which prom would be the official prom, and that could lead to debates and name calling.

  • 56. zander  |  March 14, 2010 at 9:09 am

    Thanks again Ronnie!

    • 57. Ronnie  |  March 14, 2010 at 9:11 am

      You’re Welcome Zander….<3…Ronnie

  • 58. Michael  |  March 14, 2010 at 9:42 am

    Mississippi public schools have problems not just with gays and lesbians, but with Jews as well. Eleven years ago, a Jewish student was forbidden from wearing his Magen David as it was classified as a gang symbol. The ACLU sued the school district because it did allow students to wear crucifixes and stuff, only no Jewish stars. The school district caved.

    • 59. Straight Grandmother  |  March 14, 2010 at 9:49 am

      As well they should have…

  • 60. Ronnie  |  March 14, 2010 at 1:09 pm

    Ladies and Gentlemen and all those who read between the lines….the Gorgeous and Courageous Constance Mc Millen…….<3…Ronnie:

  • 61. Roger  |  March 14, 2010 at 5:33 pm

    Something all the commentators seem to overlook is that Ms McMillen is 18 — which makes her legally an adult. Yet they are treating her as though she were still a child.

    Or does Mississippi law say that adulthood doesn’t begin until you graduate from high school?

    • 62. Straight Grandmother  |  March 15, 2010 at 7:48 am

      Roger, good point! She is a fine young woman her father and mother and family members must be very proud of her.

  • 63. David Kimble  |  March 14, 2010 at 5:42 pm

    @Roger, some states don’t recognize a person, as being an adult until the age of 21. It varies between states.
    <3 David

    • 64. Roger  |  March 16, 2010 at 3:41 am

      David, I just looked it up. The age of majority in Mississippi is 21 — though according to wikianswers at 18 you are allowed to marry (with your parents’ permission) and if you do then you are deemed to be ‘enfranchised’. Of course she can’t marry her girlfriend, not in M’sippi anyway..

      But majority is at 18 in Louisiana.

      Hmmm… so the US doesn’t have a uniform age of majority. Looking at this as a foreigner, isn’t that a breach of the equal-protection provisions of the US consitution, in that some residents of some states are denied rights (such as voting and the right to marry without having to ask papa for permission) that those of other states enjoy?

      • 65. Kathleen  |  March 16, 2010 at 7:53 am

        Roger, where did you find the information of the age of majority in Mississippi?

        In this reference to Mississippi State Code

        § 93-19-13. Persons eighteen years of age or older competent to contract in matters affecting personal property.

        In another section, it sets the voting age at 18.

        BTW, the 26th Amendment to the US Constitutional Amendment, adopted in 1971 established that “The right of citizens of the United States, who are eighteen years of age or older, to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of age. “

      • 66. Kathleen  |  March 16, 2010 at 7:55 am

        Oops, didn’t finish…

        I didn’t keep digging to find the age of consent for marriage or sex, but given the age of consent for voting and contracts, I can’t imagine it’s anything older than 18.

  • 67. Kathleen  |  March 16, 2010 at 4:24 pm

    Hearing set for Monday in Constance’s lawsuit:

  • 69. David Kimble  |  March 16, 2010 at 4:36 pm

    Thanx, Kathleen! <3 David

  • 70. Let Constance Take Her Girlfriend to Prom | Arion's Home  |  March 18, 2010 at 7:15 am

    […] Let Constance Take Her Girlfriend to Prom (Prop 8 Trial Tracker, 13 Mar 2010) […]

  • 71. Boofus  |  March 19, 2010 at 6:10 am

    While I think this is a very important issue, I am here looking to track the prop 8 trial. I donated money and prop8trialtracker is doing everything but. Can anyone tell me where I can get actual info on the trial and not read blogs about other issues? This is not what I donated money for.

    • 72. JQ  |  March 19, 2010 at 6:14 am


      Look back to the very first blogs. All of those are specifically about the trial. And they make for a GREAT read! These ‘other issue’ blogs are just filling the wait time until the action picks up in the trial again. If you have time, I recommend them as well.


    • 73. Kathleen  |  March 19, 2010 at 11:18 am


      There’s really not much to report these days. And what is happening is mostly happening behind the scenes, with legal briefs being filed and such, not in the courtroom.

      The current hold up with the trial is a battle over discovery of evidence from third parties. The D-Is (Yes on 8 proponents) want evidence from the No on 8 Campaign organizations.

      Magistrate Judge Spero issued a discovery order Mar 5 and both sides are appealing it — D-Is want more than was ordered, the No on 8 groups want to produce less. There was a hearing on the issue held in Walker’s court last Tuesday, Mar 16. We’re waiting for a written order from Walker on the issue. The No on 8 orgs have indicated their intent to appeal to the 9th Circuit if they lose on this issue.

      You can see two different reports on last Tuesday’s hearing in Walker’s courtroom here:

      Closing arguments won’t be happening until after all of these discovery issues are resolved. I’m sure Courage Campaign will be live blogging again when those happen.

      I try to update any new developments, no matter how small, by posting at the facebook “Prop 8 Trial Trackers” page (Kathleen Perrin). Also, the official district court website on the case will update when closing arguments have been scheduled:

      I hope this helps.

  • 74. Mark  |  March 22, 2010 at 1:15 pm

    Mississippi…wake up…this is the 21st Century…here is a link for youth that can attend…northern California has a gay prom for those 20 years old and under…the link is http://www.gayprom.org/ …it would be nice if Constance could find some way to attend…she could be Queen! She HAS my vote!

    • 75. Monty  |  March 22, 2010 at 1:22 pm

      Damn, I’m busy that day, and I’ll be too old next year. It sounds like fun.


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