What Can You Say About Maggie Gallagher? How About a Haiku?

April 22, 2010 at 2:39 pm 105 comments

by Brian Leubitz

I was going to write about Maggie Gallagher’s departure for the National Organization against Marriage (NOM) yesterday, but yesterday, we lost a real champion for human rights. No sense tying a civil rights legend like Dorothy Height to the bigotry of NOM. Nonetheless, the news is still there, on NOM’s website, in blue, gray, red and white. Maggie is stepping down to appoint Brian Brown:

Today, the board of NOM announced that we are promoting Brian Brown, who you all know as NOM’s capable and charismatic executive director, to the position of President of NOM.

This move is in part a recognition of Brian Brown’s incredible record of achievement for the past three years in shepherding NOM’s growth, and in part a recognition of the increasing political profile we hope to build for NOM in 2010 and beyond.

But don’t worry, it’s not one of those, you won’t have me to kick around anymore kind of things. No, she’ll be around, and continuing to meddle in your relationships, in your marriages, and your families. She’s not really going anywhere, she’ll be fighting the crazy, bigoted fight for years to come.

So, what say you, who can write the best haiku for Maggie Gallagher. Here’s my entry:

Maggie, where are you?
First you try to divorce me
Now, I’ll repeal 8

So, you know how this goes, 5-7-5, with some sort of change in the middle. Any other contestants?

Entry filed under: Uncategorized.

Rest in Peace, Dorothy Height Gay Enough?

105 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Richard A. Walter (soon to be Walter-Jernigan)  |  April 22, 2010 at 2:43 pm

    MagPie, go away
    Let adults come out and live
    In Peace and True Love

  • 2. Richard A. Walter (soon to be Walter-Jernigan)  |  April 22, 2010 at 2:44 pm

    Subscribing again. No confirmation email yet.

    • 3. K!r!lleXXI  |  April 23, 2010 at 1:25 am


  • 4. Peter Bresnan  |  April 22, 2010 at 2:50 pm

    Frosty the snowman
    Said that marriage is for gays
    Maggie go away.

    Feeling christmasy in April. Why not. And it’s the truth!

  • 5. Ronnie  |  April 22, 2010 at 2:54 pm

    Haggie, I Love you
    Love for all Americans
    Equality NOW!!!!

    • 6. Ronnie  |  April 22, 2010 at 2:54 pm

      except clowns…..<3…Ronnie

  • 7. JonT  |  April 22, 2010 at 3:04 pm

    Happy Mags in fear
    Against oppressor, revolt!
    Gay marriage hostage


  • 8. CeeVee  |  April 22, 2010 at 3:09 pm

    Prop 8 won’t last long
    At last Mags has left her throne
    Just say no to hate

  • 9. ashleyfmiller  |  April 22, 2010 at 3:17 pm

    Maggie Gallagher,
    I can’t say that we’ll miss you.
    Goodbye to the hate!

  • 10. Ronnie  |  April 22, 2010 at 3:21 pm

    Oh, Happy Earth Day
    Haggie G has gone away
    Now Gays, um, Let’s Play


    • 11. Misken  |  April 22, 2010 at 8:59 pm

      Oh, that’s my favorite one. :)

    • 12. Brian Leubitz  |  April 23, 2010 at 8:29 am

      Ooh, I like that!

      • 13. Ronnie  |  April 23, 2010 at 8:33 am

        Thank you…I thought I would make it seasonal….to go with the Holiday…..lol…..<3…Ronnie

  • 14. David Kimble  |  April 22, 2010 at 3:21 pm

    Hmm…I think we need a song…
    Here’s my haiku

    What we need is love
    Enough to fill this hated world
    a million times over.

  • 15. Mark 'RikerBear'  |  April 22, 2010 at 3:26 pm

    This World Knows Hatred
    Maggie Gallagher’s to Blame
    Let Us Rise Above

  • 16. Ronnie  |  April 22, 2010 at 3:34 pm

    Those good words “I Do”
    Do not belong to just you
    Neither does “I Do Too”

    That was was fun to come up with…lol….<3…Ronnie

  • 17. Andrea  |  April 22, 2010 at 3:45 pm

    What you need to know:
    My life is not your business.
    Go mind your own now.

  • 18. fiona64  |  April 22, 2010 at 4:00 pm

    My loving gay friends,
    Come out of the closet now;
    Maggie G is gone.

  • 19. David Kimble  |  April 22, 2010 at 4:04 pm

    It’s all about love
    so NOM, just get this down
    don’t challenge us
    <3 David

    • 20. David Kimble  |  April 22, 2010 at 4:07 pm

      oops, that one didn’t work…
      It’s all about love,
      so no, Maggie, please don’t say
      we didn’t tell you.
      <3 David

  • 21. Lily  |  April 22, 2010 at 4:08 pm

    The Winter for you,
    very cold and harsh to you,
    is the Spring to me.

  • 22. Kathleen  |  April 22, 2010 at 4:08 pm

    She claims to love us
    Then her words lay bare her heart
    Oh so many lies!

  • 23. Straight Ally #3008  |  April 22, 2010 at 4:10 pm

    Maggie still casts stones
    She gave up the driver’s seat
    Glass house in the back

  • 24. David Kimble  |  April 22, 2010 at 4:12 pm

    I love my gay life,
    So, Maggie please just stick it
    where the sun don’t shine!

    <3 David

  • 25. JonT  |  April 22, 2010 at 4:17 pm

    Maggie is married
    her husband, invisible
    Hide! From the spotlight!

    Great idea Brian! This is fun :)

  • 26. Ronnie  |  April 22, 2010 at 4:19 pm

    Gay is the new Black
    So Maggie, get with the plan
    Wear a rainbow band


    • 27. David Kimble  |  April 22, 2010 at 4:24 pm

      Thanx, Ronnie, I like that one! <3 David

      • 28. Ronnie  |  April 22, 2010 at 5:01 pm

        You’re welcome D.K.
        Haiku’s are really way cool
        Quick drawl Jaw, that’s me


    • 29. Bolt  |  April 23, 2010 at 8:16 am


    • 30. Carvel  |  April 23, 2010 at 6:29 pm

      If gay is the new Black, then is green still envy. We just need to get over race and sex and go with what something is and not keep comparing it to anything else. But you are right, ding, Dong, the wicked witch is gone, hopefully.

  • 31. Andrea  |  April 22, 2010 at 4:19 pm


    Today is the day!
    Discovery or contempt,
    Which one will it be?

    • 32. JonT  |  April 22, 2010 at 4:29 pm

      A worthy O/T :)

  • 33. David Kimble  |  April 22, 2010 at 4:23 pm

    Love’s shining banner
    waves always even brighter
    now that Maggie’s gone.

    <3 David

  • 34. Juli  |  April 22, 2010 at 4:26 pm

    NOM queen abdicates
    the strain of striking down rights
    given to Brian

  • 35. David Kimble  |  April 22, 2010 at 4:27 pm

    Gosh – all of these are great! <3 David

  • 36. David Kimble  |  April 22, 2010 at 4:34 pm

    Maggie is gone…hmm
    The munchkins ponder, really?
    Yes, the witch is dead!

    <3 David
    I am sorry, I couldn't resist the Wizard of Oz today! <3 David

    • 37. Andrea  |  April 22, 2010 at 4:36 pm

      Too many witches!
      A mighty wind is blowing.
      House fell on Maggie.


      • 38. Chris  |  April 22, 2010 at 4:42 pm

        Please, no house-dropping
        We witches have feelings, too ;)
        Most are on your side!


      • 39. David Kimble  |  April 22, 2010 at 4:42 pm

        ROFLMAO – thanx, Andrea, that was precious!
        <3 David

      • 40. Andrea  |  April 22, 2010 at 4:49 pm

        Wiccans are our friends.
        I should have quoted “witches.”
        A point well taken.


      • 41. David Kimble  |  April 22, 2010 at 5:14 pm

        Yes, wiccans are good! <3 David

      • 42. Chris  |  April 24, 2010 at 1:34 pm

        No offense taken,
        An appropriate reply!
        Elphaba was framed.


    • 43. Richard A. Walter (soon to be Walter-Jernigan)  |  April 22, 2010 at 6:45 pm

      Then could someone please find either the original clip from the movie of “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” by the divine Miss Judy, or a clip from Sam Harris on “Star Search” doing the same song?

      • 44. Ronnie  |  April 22, 2010 at 6:49 pm

        I’ve got this one….Celtic Woman…..<3….Ronnie:

      • 45. Mouse  |  April 29, 2010 at 12:34 am

        Here you go.
        Judy Garland Over the Rainbow

    • 46. bJason  |  April 23, 2010 at 9:41 am

      dammit, I knew I should have read them all before posting mine (did a W.O.O. thing, too)!

  • 47. Andrea  |  April 22, 2010 at 4:40 pm

    Invisible man.
    Could that be Maggie’s husband?
    Let the People vote!

  • 48. JonT  |  April 22, 2010 at 4:45 pm

    Maggie Gallagher
    Her life consumed by Hatred
    Her husband says: Stop!

    Oh yes… :)

  • 49. Andrea  |  April 22, 2010 at 4:50 pm

    Empty lives are sad.
    Maggie needs a new hobby.
    Let’s take her bowling!

  • 50. Tigger  |  April 22, 2010 at 4:51 pm

    Maggie is but one
    Unlike Tiggers she is bad
    God’s children be free!

  • 51. Ronnie  |  April 22, 2010 at 4:56 pm

    This is really fun
    Maggie G, won’t miss you much
    Brian Brown, Hi hun?!


  • 52. David Kimble  |  April 22, 2010 at 4:59 pm

    Since we have labeled Maggie a witch, I thought this would be appropriate – sorry the original is unavailable – Warner Bros. blocked the audio portion of the video.
    <3 David

    • 53. JonT  |  April 22, 2010 at 5:02 pm

      Uhm… don’t insult the witches :)

      • 54. David Kimble  |  April 22, 2010 at 5:13 pm

        You are right! LMAOF! <3 David

  • 55. Vaati  |  April 22, 2010 at 5:22 pm

    Idiot woman
    Steps down from her bigot throne
    It is time to cheer

    Party time is near
    Hold up your heart and your beer
    Peace, take it from here

  • 56. JonT  |  April 22, 2010 at 5:25 pm

    Brian Brown takes lead,
    of the hatred that is NOM.
    So, is he married?

    • 57. Ronnie  |  April 22, 2010 at 5:44 pm

      BB is married
      And enough kids for a band
      Does not mean he’s straight


      • 58. JonT  |  April 22, 2010 at 5:46 pm

        LOL! :)

  • 59. Ray in MA  |  April 22, 2010 at 5:26 pm

    Hag couldn’t comprehend
    Gays can feel love and emotion
    SHE is sick

  • 60. Carvel  |  April 22, 2010 at 5:38 pm

    In a way I am sorry to see Maggie go. She was such an unmitigated bitch, that I think she alienated some of her own people. To actually have a decent capable person in the position makes them much more dangerous than they were with Maggie. I am not saying I liked her, just she was not as good of a foe as possible the person who will replace her. It is a shame that Maggie always shouted down people and appeared to be so rude on all the clips i saw of her. It is not like she could persuade me to change my opinion, but I never understood her opinion, only her hate of us. perhaps it is also because there was very little substance to her opinion.

    • 61. JonT  |  April 22, 2010 at 6:33 pm

      I don’t know Carvel, I think the hate message will remain the same, it’s just going to have a more attractive ‘face’ from now on. I mean, even you straight guys out there can’t think of Mags as being really ‘attractive’. BB’s picture on the other hand, reminds me of those pseudo-cute ‘Ex Gay’ guys you keep hearing about on the intertubes :)

      In the words of a wise man, I think Mags is thinking more along the lines of (paraphrased):

      I prefer to work in the background. The rewards are just as great, and the risk is far less.” – Ambassador Londo Mollari.


      • 62. Straight Ally #3008  |  April 22, 2010 at 9:11 pm

        +10 for the B5 ref :D

    • 63. Kathleen  |  April 22, 2010 at 9:15 pm

      This from Mags’s public statement, “This move is … in part a recognition of the increasing political profile we hope to build for NOM in 2010 and beyond.”

      Makes me wonder whether NOM fears that Mags’s invisible non-Christian husband would become a political liability. As Sagesse suggested, I bet there’s an interesting back story here. :-)

  • 64. Kathleen  |  April 22, 2010 at 6:26 pm

    UPDATE: Prop 8 Proponents’s filing with the court today states, in part,

    “As directed, the parties have engaged in further conferences and negotiations, but unfortunately they have not been able to come to a resolution. … Accordingly, Proponents respectfully renew their motion to hold nonparties … in contempt for their failure to produce pursuant to this Court’s orders.”

    There were a number of documents filed by all sides. I just walked in the door and need to tend to a few things. But later,I’ll read through them and report with more detail. I’ll also upload them to Scribd later, to make them available to everyone.

    • 65. cc  |  April 22, 2010 at 6:44 pm

      Oh good! Now that they are now officially in contempt of court they can file the proper appeals! It’s moving, slowly, but at least it is moving!

      • 66. Kathleen  |  April 22, 2010 at 7:09 pm

        No official contempt order yet. Just the Proponents’ renewed request that they be held in contempt.

      • 67. cc  |  April 22, 2010 at 11:13 pm


    • 68. Andrea  |  April 22, 2010 at 6:50 pm

      Imagine my surprise.

    • 69. Kathleen  |  April 22, 2010 at 7:20 pm

      Anyone familiar with Scribd. I uploaded a doc, but can’t figure out how to retrieve it! Anyone willing to talk to me by email and help me navigate Scribd?

  • 70. Scott  |  April 22, 2010 at 6:46 pm

    Maggie, you’ve caused much pain.
    For this may you be reborn!
    Gay in Uganda.

  • 71. JonT  |  April 22, 2010 at 7:12 pm

    Gay, in Uganda.
    Must die for love. How Noble!
    So, are you proud NOM?

    PS: thanks Scott for the reminder :(

  • 72. Ronnie  |  April 22, 2010 at 8:07 pm

    Mags, What can I say?
    We Laughed, We Cried, Called Names, but
    Bitch good bye, …..ooooooooo K!!!!!


  • 73. Zander  |  April 22, 2010 at 8:19 pm

    I close my eyes tight
    and imagine our future
    Now we’re on our way

    • 74. JonT  |  April 22, 2010 at 8:22 pm

      Right on brother.

  • 75. Kathleen  |  April 22, 2010 at 8:46 pm

    I’ve uploaded the five documents to Scribd. I can’t put more than one link in a post w/out getting hung up in moderations, so I’ll do this in a series of five posts.

    Doc 635: D-Is Response to April 17 Order

    • 76. Kathleen  |  April 22, 2010 at 8:46 pm

      Doc 636: Declaration in Support of Response (doc 635)

      • 77. Andrea  |  April 23, 2010 at 1:49 am

        635 and 636: NOM says they tried negotiating but it didn’t work out. Reiterates willingness to play by any rules as long as they’re the same rules everyone else is playing by. Requests contempt charge against ACLU and EQCA.

    • 78. Kathleen  |  April 22, 2010 at 8:47 pm

      Doc 637: Plaintiffs’ respond to April 17 Order

      • 79. Andrea  |  April 23, 2010 at 1:53 am

        637: Perry’s lawyers say there was nothing wrong with the discovery order in the first place, and neither ACLU/EQCA nor NOM have managed to make any case for themselves. They accuse both (but mostly ACLU) of causing superfluous delays, and remind the Court that this case is about irreparable ongoing injury to millions of Californians, not NOM and ACLU/EQCA’s discovery-related pi**sing match.

        Perry requests that ACLU/EQCA produce the documents or be held in contempt effective Monday or Tuesday, NOM to complete their trial record entries by next Thursday or Friday, and the record to then close so the case can move forward.

    • 80. Kathleen  |  April 22, 2010 at 8:48 pm

      Doc 638: Notice of Joinder by Plaintiff-Intervenor City and County of San Francisco to Plaintiffs’ Response to April 17, 2010 Order

      • 81. Andrea  |  April 23, 2010 at 1:54 am

        638: City and County of SF say, “We entirely agree with Perry.”

    • 82. Kathleen  |  April 22, 2010 at 8:49 pm

      Doc 639: Statement of Objectors ACLU re April 17 Order

      • 83. Andrea  |  April 23, 2010 at 2:08 am

        639: ACLU and EQCA again demand to write their own amended discovery order. If this demand is not met, they threaten to stall the case on appeal, potentially for years. They then “blame the victim,” claiming that this would be entirely Perry’s fault, for not meeting their demands. They finish by trying to dictate the Judge’s options to him.

    • 84. JonT  |  April 22, 2010 at 9:39 pm

      Thanks Kathleen! Dense and difficult, but interesting to read :)

  • 85. Andrea  |  April 22, 2010 at 9:16 pm

    Thanks for posting all those documents, Kathleen!

  • 86. Warner  |  April 22, 2010 at 10:09 pm

    She scars All the Kids,
    Her vitrolic bile harms,
    Send her to a farm…

    …fat pig!

    okay, I know, the last two are additions, but I couldnt work them in. Consider them the prize at the bottom of the cereal box. In her case, the cereal is a box of SNL’s ‘Colon Blow”!!!!!

  • 87. Sagesse  |  April 23, 2010 at 5:50 am

    Slightly OT, but clever and entertaining.

    “On Day 3 of the Federal Prop 8 Trial, Defense Attorney Ted Thompson painted a picture that gay people were no longer being discriminated against to prove that discrimination could not be the reason that Proposition 8 passed, citing numerous examples as rhetorical questions to expert witness Dr. George Chauncey, including the big success of the gay cowboy romance film Brokeback Mountain and the numerous awards that the film received. In response, I will paint a picture that gay people continue to be discriminated against, and I will cite 40 acts of discrimination against LGBT people that have occurred since the release of Brokeback Mountain towards the end of 2005… Video: Sean Chapin”

  • 88. Ronnie  |  April 23, 2010 at 6:59 am

    Want to get married
    Separate Church and State, Get It?
    Haters Go Away!!!!!


    • 89. Ronnie  |  April 23, 2010 at 7:03 am

      wait?!….that doesn’t work…lets try again

      Want to get married
      sep. of Church and State, Get It?
      Haters Go Away!!!!!


  • 90. Ronnie  |  April 23, 2010 at 7:27 am

    GLEE shows us the way
    Just “Like a Prayer”, ALL are FREE
    This is the New World!!!!


  • 91. Ronnie  |  April 23, 2010 at 7:40 am

    A gift For Maggie
    Hit the road Jack, Don’t come back!!!
    No More, No More, K?


  • 92. Ronnie  |  April 23, 2010 at 8:04 am

    OMG this is hilarious…..

    Posted on Advocate.com April 23, 2010
    Vote on Maggie Gallagher’s Future
    By Julie Bolcer

    As head of the antigay National Organization for Marriage, Maggie Gallagher has made a career of voting on gay people’s rights. Now that Gallagher has announced she will step down, Fight Back New York wants to give people a chance to vote on her next career move with the online contest, “Maggie’s Reinvention Tour.”

    “Though she’s announced her next steps – continuing to help NOM and writing a book against marriage equality – we thought we’d give her a hand and suggest a few new career options, based on her skills and experience. 

It’s Maggie’s Reinvention Tour! What should her next career move be?”

    (me) I’m going to post the link to the survey….but here’s the options….

    1. Weather Woman…..why not? There’s a storm coming

    2. Sin Class Instructor….no not with a bike, silly!!!!

    3. Undertaker…..I can’t, I mean….bwaaaaaaaa


    • 93. Ronnie  |  April 23, 2010 at 8:05 am

      crap…#2. Spin Class Instructor…….but sin works too….lol…..<3…Ronnie

  • 94. Chas  |  April 23, 2010 at 8:26 am

    Maggie, I’m so gay
    Reaction Formation Is
    Your problem not mine

  • 95. Bolt  |  April 23, 2010 at 8:32 am

    Wow, these poems are very good. Here is mine:

    Maggie lied, and people cried.
    Children are taught it’s OK to discriminate.
    We have pride, and couth, on our side.

  • 96. Bolt  |  April 23, 2010 at 8:36 am

    Victory is ours in 5 years.
    Revenge is living equally under the law.
    Everybody loves everybody in America.

  • 97. Denbeau  |  April 23, 2010 at 8:57 am

    Haiku is far too formal for Maggie … I think a limerick is much more her style …

    Maggie, the Queen of Prop 8
    was told “We need you … please wait!”
    She replied with a frown
    “You can make do with Brown,
    He’s equally well trained in hate!”

    • 98. Lori  |  April 24, 2010 at 5:56 pm

      Winner. I don’t even care that the original contest was haiku. This is just …indescribably awesome.

  • 99. bJason  |  April 23, 2010 at 9:38 am

    going back to read them all in a second. Here’s mine.

    Look out Maggie, our
    houses of love will soon fall
    on you… wicked witch!

    <3 Jason

  • 100. Bob  |  April 23, 2010 at 10:30 am

    way too much attention for Maggie, it would have been better if she would have left unnoticed, an offering of silence in honor of our preparation to embrace the next face hatred takes.for us to confront

  • 101. homer  |  April 23, 2010 at 11:29 am

    Maggie Gallagher
    A footnote in someone’s book
    On same sex marriage

  • 102. Regan DuCasse  |  April 23, 2010 at 1:36 pm


    “This move is in part recognition of Brian Brown’s incredible achievements.”

    WHAT ‘incredible achievements.’?

    She should be embarrassed by such hyperbole, and BB lapping it up, even more so.

    It’s not hard, or brave to help to maintain a culture of distrust and bigotry against an entire minority of people doing the RIGHT thing by marrying and securing their children.

    It’s not an achievement, but a cowardly dodge to couch such activity in ‘protecting marriage.’

    Protecting marriage would be showing lower rates of divorce, domestic violence and/or using all the funds you ask for in donations towards shelters or education for the children of divorce or domestic violence.

    If your efforts, the least little bit, were directed at the improvement of REAL PEOPLE’S lives through equality and justice….or support of marriage FOR people who really WANT to be married, then I’d agree with Maggie.

    But that’s not what has happened.

    Incredible achievement, is accomplishing a great good for more people who otherwise haven’t had it.
    You know, people like Dorothy Height, or Mildred Loving.
    Mrs. Loving truly DID endure something, and fought for love and marriage in ways that were enduring and a beacon of overcoming much when things turn truly ugly and frightening.

    Ms. Height, never married, but she wouldn’t have passed judgment on the committed love of gay couples as negative or unworthy of the same consideration as hetero couples who achieve it.
    When champions of fear and ignorance and discrimination pat themselves on the back for a job well done, it’s at once scary and distinctive in it’s spite and cruelty.

    Precisely because, for heteros, nothing, absolutely nothing is taken away from them by the equal standing of gay people in our nation.
    And because without any protection, especially through marriage, gay couples are too vulnerable to the whims of the hostile.

    And a true champion of what’s right, wouldn’t want that.
    A truly courageous person doesn’t do it for the glory and compliments that BB and MG shower each other with.

    It’s easy to take up a cause against people who are not your enemy. Not even of your ideals, or your rights.
    Unless those ideals are supremacy, injustice and inequality and your rights are not to be shared with only a few in a select club of your choosing.

    NOM is truly repellent, and will never be on the right side of history, let alone the right side of what’s right.

  • 103. Lori  |  April 23, 2010 at 1:57 pm

    Now Maggie is gone,
    But NOM lives on, and we must
    Continue our fight.

  • 104. Wade MacMorrighan  |  April 24, 2010 at 9:22 pm

    No Haiku, here; however, even though this is purely political theater (as stated, Mags *will* be there making life hell for all of us). However, given Brian’s rhetoric, he’s likely to say worse things about us than Mags did in the past!

    • 105. JonT  |  April 24, 2010 at 10:50 pm

      Oh, definitely. In fact, he has – google him :)

      I look at his picture, and all I see is Ted Haggard, ‘Ex Gay’. I’ll bet there’s a similar story going on there :)

      Been there, done that. Literally :)


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