Creating the climate to defeat Prop 8: announcing the Courageous Families Photo Project

August 19, 2010 at 12:45 pm 70 comments

by Adam Bink

I keep beating this drum here on the blog, so apologies for that, but humor me as it do so one more time, because I think it’s so important.

As I wrote in my piece a few days ago on the benefits of advancing public opinion and the number of states which have legalized marriage equality, I think it is so important to do our part outside of the Prop 8 legal team to create a climate and momentum which is favorable to marriage equality for when this case hits the higher courts, including the Supreme Court. I believe it is our job as citizen activists to do our part- we can’t watch and hope for success. We have to go out and create it.

Today, Courage Campaign is launching a new tool to help do just that. Here’s author Tom Dolby and his husband, about to become parents, in a joint message to the Courage Campaign community following the 9th Circuit stay of Judge Walker’s decision:

As we progress along this new journey of parenthood, with the joy and fear that every prospective parent feels, we’ve found ourselves wondering: Will our children feel that they are valued in the world, that their parents are just the same as any other loving couple?

We hope so. That’s why we are supporting the Courage Campaign as it launches the next phase of Testimony: Equality on Trial — an unprecedented online storytelling project to bring the Prop 8 trial into the lives of Americans and change the conversation about marriage equality across the country.

In the coming year, the Testimony project will collect your depositions in the form of videos, pictures and written submissions. Every two weeks, the Courage Campaign home page will feature a real family picture selected from those pictures submitted through the Courageous Families Photo Project. This campaign will demonstrate that no two families look alike, but all families share the common bonds of love and — most importantly — deserve equal dignity and respect.

You can submit your photo here.

One of the most important elements of the Courageous Families Photo Project is that this is for families with both opposite-sex and same-sex parents. It’s for people who are single or in a relationship, straight or LGBT. While NOM uses fake iStockphoto people who may or may not condone their message, we’re going to have real people who support the freedom to marry for same-sex couples. Here’s a slideshow of photos so far:

Vodpod videos no longer available.

So those of you reading, grab a photo of yourself or your family and upload! I just did mine, and it took just a few minutes. Grab it from Facebook. Grab it from your photos folder on your hard drive. Ask your family or friends to e-mail that one you love. Then upload it to the Courageous Families Photo Project. Your photo could be featured on the home page in the future.

You can also share the link with friends:

http://www.couragecampaign.org/CourageousFamilies

And you’ll help just a little bit more to create that climate for love and equality.

The full e-mail blast is below.

Author Tom Dolby and his husband, Drew Frist, wrote the following message to the Courage Campaign community in the aftermath of the 9th Circuit stay of Judge Walker’s historic decision striking down Proposition 8. Tom and Drew have been phenomenal supporters of our work, from funding Camp Courage to our Testimony campaign. Please read their very personal message below and help us build the “Courageous Families Photo Project” today. Thanks!

— Rick and everyone at Courage

Dear Adam —

When we were married in Connecticut last year, we knew that the federal Prop 8 trial might change our lives in 2010. What we didn’t know was that we would be anxiously awaiting the birth of twin girls, via a surrogate and egg donor.

So when we heard the news a few weeks ago that Judge Vaughn Walker had ruled Proposition 8 unconstitutional, we were overcome by emotion. In that moment, we realized that by the time our daughters were born, our family might have the same rights and dignities as every other loving family in California.

Unfortunately, that possibility of equality is on hold yet again, following the U.S. 9th Circuit Court of Appeals decision to stay Judge Walker’s ruling indefinitely.

Still, we know that this journey to marriage equality is just the beginning. And we know that if we want our daughters to be raised with the inherent belief that their family is no less important than anyone else’s family, we need to change the way Americans think and feel about LGBT families.

We need to change hearts and minds. All of us — LGBT and straight — together. Starting now.

That’s why we’re inviting you to join the Courageous Families Photo Project today. Will you send us a picture of yourself or your family, just like the one of us at our wedding below? We’ll add it to a nationwide body of evidence demonstrating the joys of full equality and countering the destructive power of discrimination. Your family photo may even be chosen to be featured prominently on the Courage Campaign’s web site. Just click here to upload your photo now:

As we progress along this new journey of parenthood, with the joy and fear that every prospective parent feels, we’ve found ourselves wondering: Will our children feel that they are valued in the world, that their parents are just the same as any other loving couple?

We hope so. That’s why we are supporting the Courage Campaign as it launches the next phase of Testimony: Equality on Trial — an unprecedented online storytelling project to bring the Prop 8 trial into the lives of Americans and change the conversation about marriage equality across the country.

In the coming year, the Testimony project will collect your depositions in the form of videos, pictures and written submissions. Every two weeks, the Courage Campaign home page will feature a real family picture selected from those pictures submitted through the Courageous Families Photo Project. This campaign will demonstrate that no two families look alike, but all families share the common bonds of love and — most importantly — deserve equal dignity and respect.

All families are welcome in the Courageous Families Photo Project: LGBT or straight. Single or coupled. Legally married or not. Together for one month or 50 years. We are all in this together. Will you help to change the way Americans think about families by sending a picture of you or your family today? Just click here to upload your photo:

http://www.couragecampaign.org/CourageousFamilies

At our wedding celebration for family and friends in Sonoma, our celebrant quoted the activist Parker Palmer as saying, “There is often a tragic gap between what is and what could and should be. To live in this world, we must learn how to stand in the tragic gap with faith and hope.”

We ask that you stand with us in faith and hope as we work to ensure a safe and loving society for all of our children.

Thank you for joining us in launching this special project.

Tom Dolby and Drew Frist

Entry filed under: Community/Meta.

New Rhode Island marriage poll, NOM’s ads in Minnesota, and what’s on the ballot this year Another day, another head-shaking Saunders column on Prop 8

70 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Freddy  |  August 19, 2010 at 12:46 pm

    sub me

    Reply
    • 2. Ann S.  |  August 19, 2010 at 12:50 pm

      hoagie me

      Reply
      • 3. AndrewPDX  |  August 19, 2010 at 1:00 pm

        ROFL!
        Can I go for a po’boy?

        Liberty, Equality, Fraternity
        Andrew

        Reply
      • 4. Alan E.  |  August 19, 2010 at 1:33 pm

        I got a sandwich in the Tenderloin yesterday that was 10″ long for $3.50. I hope Little Saigon grows in size here and takes over the area! They need to maintain the same great food and prices, though.

        Reply
    • 5. Kathleen  |  August 19, 2010 at 2:10 pm

      sign me up for hot pastrami w/spicy mustard.

      Reply
      • 6. Sheryl, Mormon Mother of a wonderful son who just happens to be gay  |  August 19, 2010 at 9:48 pm

        Little Saigon. Had dinner there one night–great food, good prices, good service.

        Sheryl

        Reply
    • 7. Lesbians Love Boies  |  August 20, 2010 at 8:48 am

      Very late to the Scribe party!

      Reply
  • 8. Trish  |  August 19, 2010 at 12:47 pm

    Sent and scribing.

    Reply
    • 9. Trish  |  August 19, 2010 at 12:48 pm

      Or I would be scribing if I checked the boxes.

      Reply
  • 10. Mark M. (Seattle)  |  August 19, 2010 at 12:52 pm

    I’ll be uploading like a mad fool later this evening :-)

    Reply
    • 11. fiona64  |  August 19, 2010 at 2:26 pm

      I’ll be doing the same. :-)

      Love,
      Fiona

      Reply
  • 12. Ronnie  |  August 19, 2010 at 1:03 pm

    Can I send a photo of me & my mom?…..<3..Ronnie

    Reply
    • 13. Eden James  |  August 19, 2010 at 1:07 pm

      Definitely!

      Eden w/ Courage

      Reply
      • 14. Ronnie  |  August 19, 2010 at 1:13 pm

        cool…thanks…I’ll upload one 2night…<3…Ronnie

        Reply
    • 15. Mark M. (Seattle)  |  August 19, 2010 at 1:39 pm

      Of course you can! Would love to see you and your mom!
      Your family is your family

      Reply
  • 16. Bob  |  August 19, 2010 at 1:06 pm

    yes Ronnie, that’s your family, I would love to see it

    Reply
  • 17. AndrewPDX  |  August 19, 2010 at 1:12 pm

    So, currently, my ‘family’ is just me. Kinda boring photo-op there.

    Reply
    • 18. Bob  |  August 19, 2010 at 1:23 pm

      @AndrewPDX I doubt you’re boring, love to see ya

      Reply
    • 19. JonT  |  August 19, 2010 at 4:49 pm

      Heh, same here. I’ll try to find a pic or two anyway.

      Reply
  • 20. The Reverend Canon Susan Russell  |  August 19, 2010 at 1:18 pm

    Great idea and a GREAT witness. Am tweeting, Facebooking and blogging it “as we speak” but only have one question: Is there hair and makeup?

    Reply
  • 21. Josh (SF)  |  August 19, 2010 at 1:29 pm

    OK I fully and definitely agree that to put a face to our cause is extremely noble and worthwhile… But I think if we are to really gain a climate of acceptance and equality, we need people that others look up to to help. This is one of those times that I’m going to bring up something extremely UN-politically correct… I have seen article after article about how fashion and movie star icons create and transform public opinions on “body image” and “what’s in”. So many give minor lip service to supporting us… then maybe they should put some money where their mouthes are and do some real supportive public service ads with faces people look up to asking them to stop the hate.

    Reply
    • 22. Straight Grandmother  |  August 19, 2010 at 1:41 pm

      I don’t know why you think that is politically incorrect here. I think it is a good idea.

      Reply
    • 23. Mark M. (Seattle)  |  August 19, 2010 at 1:49 pm

      It’s not Un-PC Josh…I agree with you actually. We need any and all celebs that support LGBT civil rights to stand up and be heard.
      The support we have gotten from Rob Reiner and his wife regarding this trial is beyond belief….now we need others to step forward and be counted and heard.

      Reply
      • 24. Dave in ME  |  August 19, 2010 at 7:28 pm

        We do have some celebrities that have spoken out for us, but how many of them are big name powerhouses. It’s great to have Kathy Griffin and Sarah Silverman on our side, but what about the A-list? Maybe there are, but it’s late and I can’t think of any right now, but I think highly respected A-list types will go a lot farther in Middle America than the routine liberal heroes.

        Dave in Maine

        Reply
      • 25. Richard A. Walter (soon to be Walter-Jernigan)  |  August 19, 2010 at 9:37 pm

        You mean like Reba McEntire and Martina McBride, who have both been vocal about their support of us?

        Reply
      • 26. Dpeck  |  August 19, 2010 at 11:30 pm

        Did you know that Brad Pitt donated $100,000 to fight Prop 8?

        Reply
      • 27. Franck  |  August 20, 2010 at 12:01 am

        I knew about that, though I didn’t expect less from Brad (his French nickname isn’t “Le brave type” for nothing). I also saw photos of the whole Linkin Park band showing up at an anti-prop8 protest, and at least a photo of Whoopi Goldberg unless I’m mistaken. They can’t be the only artists who did so.

        – Franck P. Rabeson
        Days spent apart from my fiancé because of DOMA: 1155 days, as of today.

        Reply
      • 28. Dave in ME  |  August 20, 2010 at 4:36 am

        That’s great to have their support, but I’m talking about the big names that earn hundreds of millions of dollars at the box office. We’re talking about HOLLYWOOD where there are SO many gay people behind the scenes making all that shit WORK! Why don’t we see those huge names stepping up and speaking out on our behalf? And, for that matter, how many of these big names are gay themselves?

        (Maybe these current big names have stepped up for us, but I don’t watch tv much and maybe it slipped by me).

        Dave in Maine

        Reply
  • 29. adambink  |  August 19, 2010 at 1:43 pm

    Hi Josh, one, I think that’s the point of the No H8 projects with “celebrities” doing so. I think there’s a value in people like that doing ads, although am not inclined when it’s in an electoral season. Two, this is just one piece of that, not “the” answer.

    Reply
  • 30. Richard A. Walter (soon to be Walter-Jernigan)  |  August 19, 2010 at 1:53 pm

    Just sent our picture in using this link. Thanks, Courage Campaign.
    Ant, Arisha, Phyllis, Rick, I hope you guys made it home safely. Two of you have the cell phone number so keep in touch.

    Reply
  • 31. Sagesse  |  August 19, 2010 at 2:06 pm

    Subscribing.

    Reply
  • 32. OldCoastie  |  August 19, 2010 at 2:13 pm

    I now have the worst case of the giggles… Joe.My.God. is reporting that Olson and Boies may be asking the PropH8ers to pay their legal bills.

    http://joemygod.blogspot.com/2010/08/olson-boies-ask-may-court-to-force.html

    Reply
    • 33. Kathleen  |  August 19, 2010 at 2:44 pm

      Yes. They’ve asked for an extension on the deadline to file a motion requesting attorney’s fees. You can read all the relevant court filings here, starting with Doc 729.
      http://www.scribd.com/ownbycatz

      Reply
      • 34. Gray Coyote  |  August 19, 2010 at 3:46 pm

        There’s also some crazy person filing something to vacate the ruling (third party not involved with the case).

        Reply
      • 35. Ann S.  |  August 19, 2010 at 3:57 pm

        @GrayCoyote — are you dissing Mr. JUSTICE??

        ;)

        Reply
  • 36. Michguy  |  August 19, 2010 at 3:14 pm

    NEWS UPDATE ON DOMA CASE

    http://www.glad.org/current/news-detail/judgment-entered-in-gill-doma-challenge/

    An amended judgment was entered August 18, 2010 in Gill v. Office of Personnel Management, GLAD’s challenge to the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). Simultaneously, a stay was issued pending any appeal by the government to the U.S. Court of Appeals for the First Circuit. It supersedes a judgment entered by the federal district court on August 12, 2010.

    ( Is the ammended Judgement better than the previous judgement or does the new judgement actually do less for our cause)

    Reply
    • 37. Kathleen  |  August 19, 2010 at 3:25 pm

      The amended judgment just gives more detail as to how the judgment applies to each plaintiff and was negotiated by both sides. There are links from the article to the actual judgment.

      Reply
  • 38. Mark M. (Seattle)  |  August 19, 2010 at 4:02 pm

    Just met the founder of buddybuddy.com a resource site for LGBT couples

    http://www.buddybuddy.com

    Looks like a good site full of all sorts of info.

    I gave him the lowdown of our little family here and urged him to check it out and get involved.

    Reply
    • 39. Richard A. Walter (soon to be Walter-Jernigan)  |  August 19, 2010 at 9:01 pm

      Thanks, Mark! I just bookmarked this. And yes, everybody, I am running quite a bit behind today. We had one of our grandsons here today, and I spent part of my normal P8TT time helping to order some wheels and bearings for his skateboard. Early birthday present, and it was better to have him here with me to make sure the right wheels and bearings were ordered.

      Reply
  • 40. Randy  |  August 19, 2010 at 4:09 pm

    Protesters stage sit-in at county clerk’s office
    By Wendy Fry, UNION-TRIBUNE

    Originally published August 19, 2010 at 9:14 a.m., updated August 19, 2010 at 10:28 a.m.

    On the day hundreds of gay and lesbian couples statewide planned to obtain their long-awaited marriage licenses, a crowd of about 50 people gathered at the county clerk’s office Thursday to protest a federal judge’s stay of a federal ruling that Proposition 8 is unconstitutional.

    Three people were taken away in plastic handcuffs by sheriff’s deputies early in the demonstration and an additional six people were removed later. A deputy said they were detained for blocking access to a county office.

    Tony and Tyler Dylan-Hyde and at least one other couple came to the county clerk’s office this morning at 8 a.m. asking to receive their marriage license.

    “We believe that county officials and the Attorney General have the authority and the obligation to allow marriage licenses to proceed based on both federal court findings and that Prop. 8 is unconstitutional and the governor’s filings in Prop. 8 cases,” Tyler Dylan-Hyde said. “We are asking you to do what’s right.”

    Tony and Tyler Dylan-Hyde left the county offices after being told they could not receive a marriage license saying they were going to spend the day pursuing other legal avenues.

    Three heterosexual couples had approached for their scheduled appointments this morning. The group refused to move and allow the couples access to the office.

    Deputies repeatedly asked the protesters to move before removing the initial three participants of the sit-in in plastic handcuffs.

    County Clerk David Butler had asked the sit-in group to move and allow the public access to the office around 9 a.m. The group refused, saying they were protecting their civil rights.

    Shouting, “We shall not be moved. No equality. No business as usual,” two members of the group said they were disappointed they could not get married today.

    “It’s something at first that you kind of assume is going to be the case,” said Michael Anderson, a 28-year-old who planned to get his marriage license today with his partner of 9 years Brian Baumgardner. “But after awhile, you get tired of waiting.”

    Reply
  • 41. Dave P.  |  August 19, 2010 at 4:37 pm

    This is a great idea! I’ll look through some photos tonight. I’m pretty sure I have a picture of me and my mom riding a camel in India….

    …. and hello there…. I couldn’t help noticing that the handsome Mr. photo #8 appears to be single…..

    Reply
  • 42. Bolt  |  August 19, 2010 at 4:54 pm

    Don’t forget to photograph equality minded opposite sex families too. They’re equally as passionate about marriage equality.

    Reply
    • 43. Richard A. Walter (soon to be Walter-Jernigan)  |  August 19, 2010 at 9:22 pm

      Bolt, there are many OS couples and their families in the slide show.

      Reply
      • 44. Bolt  |  August 19, 2010 at 10:34 pm

        Cool! The least I could do is contribute a photo instead of directing it, but I don’t have any.

        Reply
      • 45. Richard A. Walter (soon to be Walter-Jernigan)  |  August 19, 2010 at 10:37 pm

        Do you have a webcam? You can take one with your webcam and then upload that. After that, you could go to http://www.gravatar.com and make that picture your avatar for your comments here.

        Reply
    • 46. fiona64  |  August 20, 2010 at 8:48 am

      Yep. I forgot to do it last night, but I’ll do it this evening — Jeff’s (Captain America, who posts here from time to time) and my wedding picture will go up on the site.

      Love,
      Fiona

      Reply
  • 48. Ray in MA  |  August 19, 2010 at 5:06 pm

    Why do so many smiles reduce me to tears?

    The photos touched my heart.

    It got me to upload. Hope you see. Hope you like

    Ray & Dan (married in MA since 2004)

    Reply
  • 49. Mike  |  August 19, 2010 at 5:46 pm

    Idea: Not sure if something already exists, but after watching people on our side struggle with some easy-to-answer interview questions, I was thinking we might want to come up with something similar to NOM’s FAQ ( http://www.nationformarriage.org/site/c.omL2KeN0LzH/b.4475595/k.566A/Marriage_Talking_Points.htm ) where we can brainstorm good responses to the silly things opponents always say.

    Reply
  • 50. Mandy  |  August 19, 2010 at 6:12 pm

    I was looking through our pictures and I realized that we don’t have any group family pictures. Lol it is usually just one of us or just the kids. Good reminder to get pics taken so we can upload one.

    Reply
    • 51. Kathleen  |  August 19, 2010 at 6:20 pm

      Me too. I was trying to see if I could find a picture of just me with my sons (representing a single parent family) and can’t find a single one. It’s that “someone has to take the picture” problem.

      Reply
      • 52. Bryan  |  August 19, 2010 at 7:13 pm

        Haha. My mom jokes that if you only looked at our pictures, you’d never know she went on vacations with us.

        Reply
    • 53. Ann S.  |  August 19, 2010 at 6:32 pm

      Hey, Mandy, is your closing still on track to close properly? I’ve been thinking about you. The story of those idjits at the title company still makes me mad. They should be more knowledgeable and professional.

      On topic, I’m scouring my hard drive to see if I have one of the big group family pictures from my brother’s wedding.

      Reply
  • 54. carpoolcookie  |  August 19, 2010 at 6:15 pm

    Here’s an interesting article, counter-balancing the (fake) claim that conservatives are JUST FINE with civil unions/domestic partnerships, just as long as they aren’t called “marriages”.

    http://lacrossetribune.com/news/state-and-regional/wi/article_cbb1018a-ab0b-11df-8d15-001cc4c002e0.html

    Reply
    • 55. Ann S.  |  August 19, 2010 at 6:34 pm

      This kind of thing they’re doing makes me so mad. The registry is supposed to give couples “the right to visit each other in hospitals, make end-of-life decisions and inherit each other’s property”. Oooh, scary and horrible.

      Reply
      • 56. Kathleen  |  August 19, 2010 at 6:38 pm

        You’d really think these people would have better things to do with their time and money than to keep people from visiting a dieing loved one.

        Reply
      • 57. carpoolcookie  |  August 19, 2010 at 6:38 pm

        Well, it just brings us all back to the reality that the vast number of conservatives have never wanted to help lesbians and gays achieve anything.

        So we should really remember that when people fall back on the “we’re just arguing about a word…otherwise, we’re on YOUR SIDE” stance.

        Reply
      • 58. Dave P.  |  August 19, 2010 at 6:39 pm

        Exactly. What a bunch of vindictive a**holes. What possible rationale could someone give to justify this? This clearly helps NOBODY and clearly has the potential for doing tremendous harm to these families. I hope it blows up in their faces and results in an anti-bigotry backlash.

        Reply
      • 59. draNgNon  |  August 19, 2010 at 6:51 pm

        in a sense, that illustrates exactly why it is so very important to have the right to marry. this sort of registry – like DP in many places, is a poor substitute, becuase even if it is not taken away at the whim of a court or a vindictive electorate, it won’t necessarily be acknowledged by the entities (hospitals, morticians, etc) involved.

        it’s not about “just wanting to be loved.” this is real harm, life-threatening in some cases, and denial of property rights in others.

        Reply
  • 60. ElsieH  |  August 19, 2010 at 7:26 pm

    Posted our photo! Can’t wait to see what our community comes up with.(Ray and Lori Married for 26 years)

    Reply
  • 61. Jenny  |  August 19, 2010 at 8:31 pm

    aw, I wish I had a good picture of me and a someone special, but, alas, I am terrible at relationships. ;) But I’ll find a good one! I would love to be a part of this.

    Reply
    • 62. Carpool Cookie  |  August 19, 2010 at 8:56 pm

      I’m not sure I’m not above creating a fake family for this album. I’ve waited long enough, dammit!

      Someone talk me out of it.

      Reply
      • 63. Dpeck  |  August 19, 2010 at 9:22 pm

        I’ve been single for a while too and I considered that myself but I don’t trust my Photoshopping skills. So I just uploaded a nice picture of me and my mom. I also have three sisters and they are also great allies, but I haven’t found a good photo of all of us together.

        Reply
      • 64. Richard A. Walter (soon to be Walter-Jernigan)  |  August 19, 2010 at 10:07 pm

        Remember, Carpool Cookie, they also want pictures of single people who support marriage equality. Of course, you could also include any dogs, cats, fish, birds or other family members of that type, just as others have done.

        Reply
      • 65. JonT  |  August 19, 2010 at 11:18 pm

        @Carpool Cookie:

        Do it! :)

        Reply
    • 66. JonT  |  August 19, 2010 at 11:17 pm

      Eh, just post one of yourself. That’s all I could do :)

      Reply
  • 67. Sheryl, Mormon Mother of a wonderful son who just happens to be gay  |  August 19, 2010 at 9:59 pm

    With my son’s permission (just need to talk with him), I’ll be uploading a family photo tomorrow then you’ll all be able to see him.

    Sheryl

    Reply
    • 68. JonT  |  August 19, 2010 at 11:08 pm

      How? Hehe, I haven’t seen either of the ones I uploaded several hours ago.

      Maybe they got rejected because I was alone.

      Reply
      • 69. Kathleen  |  August 19, 2010 at 11:14 pm

        I suspect they’re not getting uploaded directly into the album, but have to be uploaded by one the people at CC. It may take a while for them to go through them all and get them up. I don’t think you’ve been rejected, JonT :) xoxo

        Reply
      • 70. JonT  |  August 19, 2010 at 11:31 pm

        @Kathleen: Heh – I forgot to add a smiley face at the end…

        :)

        XXXOOO

        Reply

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