R.I.P. Brandon Bitner: Another teen commits suicide because of bullying

November 8, 2010 at 6:17 pm 50 comments

Cross-posted from LGBTPOV.

By Karen Ocamb

Brandon bracesDespite all the media surrounding the “It Gets Better” project and the Trevor Project’s 24/7 helpline for LGBT youth at risk of suicide – last Friday, Brandon Bitner, 14, of Mount Pleasant Mills, Pennsylvania, left a suicide note at home, walked about 13 miles to a main highway and at about 3:00am ran in front of a tractor-trailer.

“It was because of bullying,” Takara Jo Folk, Bitner’s friend at Midd-West High School, wrote in a letter to The Daily Item. “It was not about race, or gender, but they bullied him for his sexual preferences and the way he dressed. Which they wrongly accused him of…..Because of bullying, one of my closest friends took his own life. I am writing this (because) Midd-West School District has bullies, and kids who are bullied are not okay.”

The Daily Item also reported that Bitner’s suicide happened “just days after an anti-bullying assembly at the high school, which, according to district Superintendent Wesley Knapp, was not held in response to any specific problems at the school, but because it is an issue Principal Cynthia Hutchinson has always felt strongly about.”

In another letter to the newspaper, student Briana Boyer wrote that, “No one took it [the assembly] seriously, and joked around about it.”

Former student Erin Barnett wrote that, “Nothing is done” when students report bullying to school officials. “Bullying should be addressed in every school, and should have a punishment.”

Apparently Bitner was a gifted musician who loved to play his violin. Please read The Daily Item story for more details.

His friends created a Facebook page – “RIP Brandon Bitner” – dedicated to his memory.

Entry filed under: Uncategorized.

Crunch time on #DADT: Lame-duck session provides last-best hope to repeal “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” BREAKING: Double dose of DOMA challenges in court

50 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Ann S.  |  November 8, 2010 at 6:20 pm

    RIP, Brandon. So sad.

  • 2. John  |  November 8, 2010 at 6:21 pm


  • 3. Kathleen  |  November 8, 2010 at 6:25 pm


  • 4. Michelle Evans  |  November 8, 2010 at 6:26 pm

    As long as we have organizations such as NOM, FRC, and all the rest, these deaths will continue.

  • 5. Sagesse  |  November 8, 2010 at 6:29 pm

    NOM must be so proud.

    • 6. JonT  |  November 8, 2010 at 6:44 pm


      I’m guessing that McClance asshole is celebrating tonight as well.

  • 7. Anthony  |  November 8, 2010 at 6:31 pm

    Federal Hate Crimes Laws need to kick in now. Everyone was warned… time for our Government to start dishing out the Law!

    Death like this is still a crime!

  • 8. Bennett  |  November 8, 2010 at 6:32 pm

    Maybe NOM will agree to take some time off so we can address the teen suicide problem. I don’t think so.

    Are there resources for this type of at risk teenager. It has been a few minutes since I was a teenager, and I can assure you that there were none available at that time.

    Perhaps the HRC could coordinate and promote a hotline of somesort. (or would that be decried as being just like making condoms vailable to sexually active teenagers?)

    • 9. Bennett  |  November 8, 2010 at 6:37 pm

      In case that was not clear . . .

      Those liberals! First they wanted to make condoms available to sexually active teenagers. Then they wanted to provide clean needles to junkies! Now they want to provide resources to help prevent our gay children from committing suicide!

  • 10. Richard A. Walter (soon to be Walter-Jernigan)  |  November 8, 2010 at 7:43 pm


  • 11. Ed  |  November 8, 2010 at 7:50 pm

    After reading about all the suicides as of late, this one hit me particularly hard, and I don’t know why.

    Listen here, you fucks…..

  • 12. Ronnie  |  November 8, 2010 at 7:59 pm

    He was bullied because of his perceived orientation…..Brandon was a practitioner of the Emo lifestyle…BTW, for the NOMnuts who are watching this blog….that is the accurate intellectual, psychological, & sociological use of the word “Lifestyle”….that is lived by both Male & Female…Gay & Straight…that is besides the point…the fact that he was bullied at all for being different is unacceptable…

    & Yes NOM, FRC, etc ect…enable & foster that kind of behavior of “if you don’t look, act., breathe, & believe exactly like this, then you are wrong”…& gives kids & teens free license to bully & harass those that don’t fit into NOM’s etc etc little unrealistic molds of conformity & non-diversity

    Like I said… It is Homophobia that is the problem…NOT the Equality Civil Rights Movement….

    RIP Brandon Bitner….<3…Ronnie

  • 13. Ed  |  November 8, 2010 at 8:00 pm

    After reading about all the suicides as of late, this one hit me particularly hard, and I don’t know why.

    Listen here, you fucks…..

    I had a great upbringing, great parents, no molestation, no cause to choose to be gay.

    Why? Might u ask?

    Let me fill you in…IT”S NOT A FUCKING CHOICE!!!!


    This is me…a out and proud gay mad, FUCKING DEAL WITH IT, BRIAN, MAGGIE, ETC!!

    I have felt rage before, but this goes beyond it……Brian and Maggie, just how many kids have to die before u feel better? 1? 5? 10? 100? Oh…all the gay kids…..

    FUCK YOU!!!!!

    To all the youngsters out there (and the oldsters still in the closet) WE ARE YOUR FRIENDS, WE LOVE YOU, WE WILL ACCEPT YOU!


    • 14. Ed  |  November 8, 2010 at 8:01 pm

      ok…mad = man

  • 15. Ryan  |  November 8, 2010 at 8:00 pm

    RIP My prayers and thoughts go out to all of you

  • 16. Em  |  November 8, 2010 at 8:14 pm

    The kids who wrote to the newspaper speak the truth: no students really take the (often campy and impossible to be serious about) anti-bullying programs seriously. They don’t address a lot of the real issues, like RISK OF SUICIDE. They pretty much just give one of those DARE-style hokey presentations and then make the assembled group pledge to recognize that they’re beautiful or some such silliness. They don’t provide resources or even make the tone of the programs as serious as the issues they address – nobody ever told kids in my middle school that they were doing permanent damage to the kids they harrassed in gym class, that they might later be responsible when one of their classmates took his or her own life. And many times school administrators are just as much to blame. I can recall very clearly as an eighth-grader walking a bruised and sniffling sixth-grader to the assistant principal’s office and hearing the man tell this child “these things will happen. You need to grow a thicker skin.” The idea that surviving social torment is some kind of adolescent rite of passage is undermining the fight against bullying at every turn, in the minds of bullies and the adults charged with stopping them.

    • 17. CaliGirl  |  November 8, 2010 at 10:43 pm

      “These things will happen. You need to grow a thicker skin.”


      If I had a nickel… (my skin’s quite fine, thanks)

      But, wow, that’s a 7 on the Richter Scale of Stupid and Useless comments. Like it’s your fault–like you chose to be offended.


      • 18. Mouse  |  November 9, 2010 at 12:11 pm

        Typically the response to bullying is to try to teach the kids to be better victims.

        It’s kind of like responding to a broken faucet that’s spraying water all over the kitchen by handing out single sheets of Bounty.

    • 19. Kathleen  |  November 8, 2010 at 11:18 pm

      It’s not enough to have assemblies. The adults in the schools have to deal with EVERY incidence of bullying and harassment, no matter how seemingly insignificant at the time. And it needs to be dealt with swiftly, firmly and immediately at the moment it occurs or when the adult first learns about it. You can’t convince me all this stuff goes on without teachers, staff, administrators knowing about it and even witnessing much of it.

      It’s the adults’ willingness to turn their heads when it happens that is the primary reason it continues. If it was clear, through adult action, that there would be zero tolerance, it wouldn’t be allowed to flourish and those who are the subject of the bullying would know they had an ally to turn to and could expect to be protected.

      • 20. fiona64  |  November 9, 2010 at 11:52 am

        Remember my story about the high school QB hitting me and what the principal said?

        “Go back to your classroom and pretend nothing ever happened. After all, we wouldn’t want to damage the reputation of a young man who serves as such a splendid example to so many.”

        I have surmised that, unfortunately, that continues to be the response from teachers and other school authority figures. If the abuser is one of the “cool kids,” nothing is going to happen.


  • 21. Kathleen  |  November 8, 2010 at 8:45 pm

    GLAD is bringing a second case challenging section 3 of DOMA – this time representing five married couples and one widower from the states of CT, VT and NH. The case is Pedersen v. O.P.M.


    • 22. Leo  |  November 8, 2010 at 9:56 pm

      Interesting — they are filing in CT, which is Second Circuit. But one of the couples is from NH, which is First Circuit (and will be covered by whichever precedent results from the Massachusetts appeal). How is that going to work?

    • 23. Kathleen  |  November 8, 2010 at 10:05 pm

      I’m not quite sure what determines which district court they’re allowed to bring the suit in, given that the plaintiffs live in different jurisdictions. But I’m pretty sure the Appeals Circuit is determined simply by which district court the decision is from. That is, if the decision is from a district court in CT, then an appeal would go to the 2nd Circuit.

      • 24. Leo  |  November 9, 2010 at 7:33 am

        Sure, an appeal from CT would go to the 2nd Circuit, but what if the circuits disagree? (A purely academic discussion since there’s no way that’ll happen without the case going to SCOTUS.) Can there be a situation where everyone in NH can get federal benefits except for this couple, or vice versa?

        • 25. Ann S.  |  November 9, 2010 at 10:00 am

          Actually, circuits disagree all the time, and while it is one of the reasons the SCOTUS elects to take cases (to resolve differences between circuits) it doesn’t always happen expeditiously. Your question is more than academic.

          Having said that, though, I’m afraid I don’t know the answer. Except that it will be very interesting to see what happens.

  • 26. DK  |  November 8, 2010 at 8:53 pm

    Here is another example in the NY Times (“In Efforts to End Bullying, Some See Agenda”):

    Yet another so-called Christian pastor who uses words like “pollute” and “repulsive” to describe the “gay lifestyle”. It makes me sick to see such hatred being spewed out by supposed “men of God”. And then to read about yet another suicide…it’s heartbreaking. :(

    Today a coworker (who is one of those who thinks gays can be “cured”) asked me why I continue to follow prop 8 when it “didn’t affect me” because I am straight. I looked at her and said “because it affects ALL of us”.

    Angry and sad,

    • 27. Chris in Lathrop  |  November 8, 2010 at 10:24 pm

      “Of course we’re all against bullying,” Mr. DeMato, one of numerous pastors who opposed the plan, said in an interview. “But the Bible says very clearly that homosexuality is wrong, and Christians don’t want the schools to teach subjects that are repulsive to their values.”

      Number one, the 1st Amendment clearly forbids laws which promote or endorse a particular religion or religious viewpoint, which is why subjects like biology (which teaches there is no such thing as a “rib-woman”), math (which teaches that a round pit 10 measures in diameter is not 30 measures in circumference), English (If the Queen’s English was good enough for Moses, it’s good enough for me!), and other subjects abhorrent to a literal interpretation of the bible are taught in public schools. Number two, Leviticus 18:22 (“Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.”) apparently makes no mention of lesbianism; why the double standard, you religio-fascist prigs? Further, there’s all the speculation about Ruth and Naomi, and then about Jesus and the Roman centurion: http://www.wouldjesusdiscriminate.org/. Number three, what about those of us tax-paying citizen of this grand republic who find the beliefs espoused in the bible “repulsive to [our] values?”

      “But one of the objecting parents, Tammi Shulz, who describes herself as a traditional Christian, said, “I just don’t think it’s great to talk about homosexuality with 5-year-olds.”

      Where do these people get this idea we want to talk sex with 5-year-olds??? NOM, AFA, FotF, etc. There’s such a great big difference between saying, ‘Tommy’s two mommies/daddies have sex together,’ and saying, ‘Tommy has two mommies/daddies, and that’s OK.’

      These lies, Maggie and Brian (hi Louis!), are what you’re paying for. These lies come from your mouths or your desks. If you have to lie to get your point across, what is your message really worth? Doesn’t your book say, “Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor?” You hypocrites!

  • 28. Kathleen  |  November 8, 2010 at 8:55 pm

    This from Garden State Equality (NJ)

    “BREAKING NEWS, GREAT NEWS: Our Anti-Bullying Bill of Rights was introduced in the state Senate today with 28 Senate sponsors – seven more Senators than needed for passage. It has massive bipartisan support, including 11 of the 16 Senate Republicans. We’re also up to 46 sponsors in the Assembly – five more Assembly m…embers than needed for passage. This bill is moving fast, with more news coming soon. Stay tuned.”

    • 29. BK  |  November 8, 2010 at 9:56 pm

      That’s great! Thanks, Kathleen.

  • 30. James  |  November 8, 2010 at 9:29 pm

    Not that I approve of violence, generally speaking, but …some of these bullies just need their asses kicked.

    Sometimes it’s the only language they understand.

  • 31. Ronnie  |  November 8, 2010 at 9:54 pm

    Iana Di Bona released the video for Day 7….He has lost 14lbs….

    “I want the American Equality Bill filed. I want to live in a country where i can walk down the street holding the hand of my husband, partner, boyfriend, whatever on any street without fear of us getting beaten up, being called fa**ot & adding sexual orientation & gender identity to the Civil Rights Act federally mandates that we are equal people & it roots out a lot of this social inequality over time.” ~ Alan Bounville

    (me) That is what it is desired by all of us…I’m pretty certain of that…..Yes there is still racism & chauvinism but overtime, because the Government said “no more”, life was mad easier for those who were victims of racial bigotry & gender bigotry…It Got Better for them because the government did its job…now it is our turn…The government needs to stop pandering to a certain aspect of the people (i.e. selfish Homophobic anti-gay individuals) & start caring about ALL of the people….Stop playing games with the lives of LGBT people just to appease some anti-gay Heterosexuals who have control issues…..ENOUGH!!!!…..WHAT IS IT GOING TO TAKE?!!!!


  • 32. Bob  |  November 8, 2010 at 10:11 pm

    call your local representative, get the civil rights amendment filed,,,, make a phone call

  • 33. Rhie  |  November 8, 2010 at 11:02 pm

    Watching for later…

  • 34. Dean Ellerbusch  |  November 8, 2010 at 11:08 pm

    This is way beyond sad. It’s UNACCEPTABLE! Adults need to take responsibility for their little bullies! Terrorism is wrong … period! It doesn’t matter if it’s the KKK, Muslim extremists, an abusive spouse, or school bullies! Terrorists should be held accountable for their actions! Am I making myself clear?

    BIG HUGS go to anyone that will do SOMETHING … ANYTHING … to make these monsters end their deadly harassment — Dean

  • 35. Mark  |  November 8, 2010 at 11:20 pm

    How very tragic. We must stop allowing the bullies to take away our self-esteem.

    • 36. Rhie  |  November 9, 2010 at 7:25 pm

      I am going to preface this by saying I hope you know and understand the following, and just put your thought badly:

      We must just stop allowing bullies. Period. Saying that victims allow anything is wrong. It’s victim blaming. It’s putting responsibility on the person who was wronged, not the wrong doer.

      I didn’t “let” anyone take anything.
      I didn’t give them permission.
      I didn’t allow it.
      I didn’t want it.

      Someone else took my privacy, my self-determination, my psychological health, my happiness.

      That violation is what is taking a long time to deal with. I don’t believe I will ever get over it and all the effects it left. I can learn to live with it and not let it destroy the rest of my life and relationships.

      Nothing physical ever happened to me, either. It was mental, emotional and psychological abuse. I can’t imagine how much worse physical or sexual abuse makes this.

  • 37. Michelle Evans  |  November 9, 2010 at 2:20 am

    I posted this on a different P8TT thread, but also wanted to include it here:

    Did anyone else catch the Nightline program this evening on ABC? They had a segment on an ex-gay camp. They say it is the first time cameras have been allowed into such a place. They followed a Mormon man as he went through his weekend at this camp in Utah, which was actually a reunion for others who have gone through the camp previously.

    The most telling thing in the interview with this guy was when he said that he had had these feelings for men starting around 12 years old (gee, puberty!) and that he was just fine with them until someone told him he was wrong (presumably his church, from the looks of it in the interview.

    Nightline did have some viewpoints from the opposite side of the ex-gays, including two guys who had previously attended the camp and talked of how much garbage it was, however, both Cherie and I felt that ABC gave this whole idea of ex-gay way too much credence in the way they handled it, and did not give a forceful enough denunciation of the whole idea. Curious if anyone else saw it and what they thought.

    • 38. Kathleen  |  November 9, 2010 at 9:59 am

      I didn’t see it, but wish I had. Any chance they have the segment online?

    • 39. Ann S.  |  November 9, 2010 at 10:02 am

      I didn’t see it, but it sounds like another instance of the media’s insistence on equivalency of opinions — if one person says the sky is blue and someone else says it’s plaid, they tend to behave as though those are two completely valid points of view, without digging into the facts and trying to educate their viewers as to whose view has more merit.

    • 40. Rhie  |  November 9, 2010 at 7:35 pm

      UGH. Yet another example of why the idea of journalistic objectivity needs to die. Sometimes there aren’t two equal sides. Sometimes there really is a wrong side to be on and it needs to be pointed out.

      There isn’t any such thing as journalistic objectivity. Everyone has a point of view and it WILL come out in the reporting.

      Journalistic integrity is something else all together. It means reporting the facts regardless of one’s opinion. It means being transparent about one’s opinions. It means citing sources and posting all the evidence at the news site’s source. THAT is absolutely possible and necessary.

  • 41. Jeremy  |  November 9, 2010 at 6:33 am

    So much to say, but I will keep it simple. My thoughts go out to the family and friends of this young man. My heart is hurting for this terrible lose.

  • 42. Ronnie  |  November 9, 2010 at 7:12 am

    Such good & moral “Christian” behavior…..

    Middle School Student Beaten Because of Her Name
    Natasha Chen and Mike Suriani
    8:47 PM CDT, November 4, 2010

    12-year-old girl at Hernando Middle School was attacked by fellow students.
    The attackers said the victim’s name, Randi, was a ‘boy name’.
    No charges were filed because police were not called.

    “After a Fellowship of Christian Students meeting, four girls and a boy surrounded her.”

    “They started talking about me like I was a man, and like, stuff like that. That I shouldn’t be in this world. And my name was a boy name,” she said.

    “I was kicked in the rib. I was kicked in the leg. I was hit in the face. I was sat on top of and my face was jammed into the floor. I was thrown onto the cafeteria table. I was thrown in between the seats.”

    (me) there is an interview with the young lady on the other side of the link……There are not enough words to express the immense amount of anger I have right now after reading & hearing this story……

    Physically attacked because she has a boys name & likes to play sports by a bunch of “Christian” kids?….really?

    Really Tony Perkins? Really Maggie Gallagher? Really Brian Brown? Really Peter Sprigg? Really?…… REALLY!!!!!!!!?…..

    XO ……..Ronnie

  • 43. Ronnie  |  November 9, 2010 at 8:33 am

    From towelroad…….<3…Ronnie:

    Here's a brief clip from an appearance Madonna makes on Ellen DeGeneres' show today to discuss anti-gay bullying and suicides.

    Says Madonna to Ellen, when asked how she speaks to her own children about bullying:

    "We talk a lot about the importance of not judging people who are different. Not judging people who don't fit into our expected view of what's cool and what isn't. The concept that we are torturing teenagers because they are gay. It's kind of like I said earlier. It's unfathomable. It's like lynching black people or Hitler exterminating Jews. Sorry if I'm going on a rampage right now but this is America. The land of the free and the home of the brave."

    Madonna says she can relate to bullied kids:

    "I can totally relate to the idea of feeling isolated and alienated. I was incredibly lonely as a child, as a teenager. I have to say I never felt like I fit in in school. I wasn't a jock. I wasn't an intellectual. There was no group that I felt a part of. I just felt like a weirdo…It wasn't until my ballet teacher who was also gay took me under his wing and introduced me to a community of artists of other unique individuals who told me it was good and okay to be different and brought me to my first gay disco and ironically made me feel I was part of the world and it was okay to be different."

  • 44. Alan E.  |  November 9, 2010 at 9:38 am

    I had a communications/speech class a few years ago, and for my final presentation, I discussed bullying in schools. One of my points was that the bullying with anti-gay subjects don’t always target gay kids. All kids can be targeted with this language, but parents seem to think that their kid is immune if they aren’t gay. No kids are immune to bullying.

  • 45. Madjoy  |  November 9, 2010 at 12:33 pm

    This is the first time I’ve commented on one of the many LGBT blogs I read about the issue of bullying and suicide, but I just want to say… I’m not really comfortable with all the attention being poured on the issue. When people hear about all these other people committing suicide, it normalizes the behavior and, to people who are already depressed, makes suicide seem like something they could actually do themselves. I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. People I know who have been suicidal have spent a lot of time thinking about what people’s reactions will be after they die, and glorifying these deaths in this way – essentially, making them into martyrs for the cause of LGBT rights – might make suicide more appealing.

    I hope that in the crusade against bullying, we aren’t doing more harm than good by emphasizing each individual suicide so heavily.

    • 46. fiona64  |  November 9, 2010 at 1:37 pm

      I respect your position whilst disagreeing with it wholeheartedly.

      If we don’t put faces and names to these stories, we allow the whole “kids will be kids” BULLSHIT to continue. We allow these young people to remain invisible in plain sight — just as they were when school administrators, teachers, peers and even parents told them to “ignore it” or to “not do things to provoke people.”

      None of these kids are “martyrs for LGBT rights,” nor is anyone here trying to make them into such.

      We are pointing out, quite reasonably, that hate speech like that spread by NOM, FotF, etc., has tangible CONSEQUENCES.

    • 47. Mark M. (Seattle)  |  November 9, 2010 at 2:20 pm

      I certainly understand your fears MadJoy…I have been thinking something similar the last few weeks.
      I fear we have no choice however but to risk glamourizing the notion in order to reach some of the kids who are struggling. We have to talk about it or risk losing them to the idea that truly no one cares.
      It’s a risk I am willing to take, and so I talk about it to anyone who will listen

  • 48. Jonathon in VA  |  November 9, 2010 at 5:09 pm

    Another precious life lost? My heart is feeling so broken……..(unable to hold back the tears)…

  • 49. Gregory in Salt Lake City  |  November 9, 2010 at 9:22 pm

    Greetings Madjoy from Utah! I appreciate Fiona’s and Mark’s comments. I am not an expert but as I posted last month I had the pleasure of meeting with others who have much more experience on this issue than I by attending the Utah Pride Center: Family Acceptance Conference.

    **PLEASE follow this link for PHOTOS AND STORIES (captions) of some of the wonderful people I met their…. I encourage you to read the tribune article associated with Katrina’s photo as well for her near suicide story:


    As part of the conference, “The Trevor Project” was presented in various forms and times. In each presentation, Dave Reynolds, Senior public policy and research manager of the Trevor Project, emphasized that talking to our child, neighbor, niece, son, classmate about their suicidal feelings does NOT cause them to commit suicide. Its when they feel they have absolutely NO ONE to talk to or share their feelings with, no one to understand is when they feel hopeless.

    In a similar argument, some say talking about LGBTIQ issues in public schools will create more gay kids…based on the scores of stories I read this is not the case. It helps kids who can’t define their feelings feel like there is someone else who can relate.

    INVITATION: there is a newly released on DVD documentary about a kid who could have, but didn’t commit suicide in a small Pennsylvania town…which poignantly reminded me of sweet Brandon Bitner’s storey. Watch for free:



  • 50. Bryan  |  November 10, 2010 at 3:58 pm

    I’m very sorry to the parents, family, n friends that have been hurt because of this tragedy. As for the bullies I’m a grown 30 yr old man n if u want to bully somebody bring your sad ass excuse for a dad if you know who he is n come see me n I’ll whip both your asses. The kids being bullied are the people who are very important to society. Smart kids with talents. The bullies are the losers who will someday only have memories of being popular. Fucking losers. Kids don’t hurt yourselves because of these sad excuse for human kind. No one is worth hurting yourself. Growing up I was popular but depressed. I got through it n now am married and very happy. Life is short. Live it to the fullest. Everything will work out. I promise. R.I.P. to all these kids whose lives were taken so early. God bless.


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