What P8TT Means to Me and to my Family

March 3, 2011 at 2:30 pm 15 comments

This post is part of P8TT’s semi-annual fundraising drive. Please help us so we can keep this community together to fight the battles ahead. You can chip in here to make a one-time donation, or here to make a monthly donation, which helps P8TT have a more steady source of funding.

By Mark M. (Seattle)

I don’t even remember really how I found P8TT. I do know it was a day or so before the Perry trial was to start.  It was thrill to have a place to go where I could, if not watch, at least read what was happening, and share the pain and the joy with like-minded people.

What I found was far beyond a web site for people to exchange thought and ideas…I found a family.

For my family, the right to marry is very important on several levels.  Not only is it important to us on the emotional level, but for legal reasons as well.  My husband has been battling colon cancer for several years now… winning so far, but a battle nonetheless.  It has been a struggle at times dealing with doctors, hospitals, and health care staff.  Always having to explain who I am and prove it’s okay to deal with me, give me information, etc.  It’s exhausting to say the least.  I long for the day I can simply say “I’m Robert’s husband” and that will be the end of the explanations.

People who have not and most likely will never meet each other, but who deeply connect with and care for each other.  We laugh, we fight, we rib and needle each other, and we protect those that need protecting… we are every bit a family here. There have been days over this past year when I felt so down, so deeply worn out I wasn’t sure how to go on.   Simply coming to the P8TT site and reading the warmth and love in the comments has made all the difference in the world to me and my mental health.

I know I am not alone in these feelings.  You can find similar sentiment expressed in comment after comment, day after day all over this site.  There is love and understanding here, and it is so freely given to all who need it. Prop 8 Trial Tracker is more important than as just a clearing house for information regarding the Perry trial, it’s a safe place, a place of refuge, a place of peace.

Moreover, P8TT is not just about the California trial anymore. It has grown over this past year to include so much in the struggle for GLBT equality.  The NOM Bus Tours (failures each and every one), the repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” the state battles (losses and wins), and so much more.

I have learned a great deal from my Prop 8 family, and in turn hope I have taught some of them a few things as well. And I have learned that a strong community- a family, really- is something we have to keep together at any cost.

Please contribute if you can. We have to keep this community going through the battles ahead. You can chip in here.

Entry filed under: Community/Meta, P8TT fundraising.

Video: Ed Watson and Derence Kernek New Hampshire House Judiciary Committee votes unanimously to shelve anti-equality bills

15 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Kathleen  |  March 3, 2011 at 2:37 pm

    I was moved to tears to see your story featured here Mark M – my love to you, Robert and your entire family. And this is what P8TT is about.

    • 2. Ronnie  |  March 3, 2011 at 2:47 pm

      I concur…..<3…Ronnie

      • 3. JonT  |  March 3, 2011 at 3:51 pm

        As do I.

  • 4. Richard A. Jernigan  |  March 3, 2011 at 3:14 pm

    Thank you so much for this post, Mark. Hugs to you, Robert and the rest of your offline family. And hugs to my P8TT family.

  • 5. Sagesse  |  March 3, 2011 at 3:16 pm

    It’s all about family.

    • 6. Gregory in Salt Lake City  |  March 3, 2011 at 3:34 pm

      Hugs to you and Robert!

      DITTO! @ I long for the day I can simply say “I’m Robert’s husband” and that will be the end of the explanations.

  • 7. Kathleen  |  March 3, 2011 at 3:32 pm

    Lambda Legal files new brief in Golinski

    “The Executive now acknowledges that its interference with the provision of equal benefits to plaintiff is an unconstitutional act in violation of the Equal Protection Clause. Nonetheless, the Executive declares that it plans to proceed with its concededly unconstitutional and illegal actions until this Court orders it to stop. Plaintiff respectfully asks the Court to do so forthwith.”

  • 8. LCH  |  March 3, 2011 at 3:43 pm

    Proud to donate in honor of families like Mark M and Ed Watson and Derence Kernek

  • 9. Ray in MA  |  March 3, 2011 at 5:21 pm

    Thumbs up to you Mark!

  • 10. Mark M (Seattle)  |  March 3, 2011 at 5:44 pm

    Thanks everyone!
    I dearly love my P8TT family so very much

    • 11. Richard A. Jernigan  |  March 3, 2011 at 5:46 pm

      And we love you!

      • 12. AnonyGrl  |  March 3, 2011 at 6:00 pm

        We do indeed!!!

  • 13. Bob  |  March 3, 2011 at 7:12 pm

    Mark,, thanks for sharing , your personal journey, as family, dealing with Robert’s health issues,,, without basic human rights, and the trials that brings,, this touches me personally on so many levels,,, I am in awe at your courage and conviction,,,,, your family is an inspiration to me,,, From Canada with love,,,,

    • 14. Mark M (Seattle)  |  March 4, 2011 at 11:04 am

      You honor my family and myself with your words Bob.
      Thank you……love you too my friend

  • 15. Rhie  |  March 4, 2011 at 1:29 pm



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