A Mother’s Day gift of marriage

May 8, 2011 at 10:29 am 20 comments

By Adam Bink

A well-done op-ed published in today’s NY Daily News (h/t Towleroad):

For Mother’s Day, I want marriage equality: Give my son and his partner the right to marry

It was quite a Mother’s Day gift. At long last, just as his older brother, Michael, had years earlier, my younger son, Jonathan, had found “the one.” From the moment he enthusiastically introduced my husband and me to the new person in his life, I knew this was it. For months after, I witnessed their relationship blossom – watched as his eyes lit up, listened as his “I’s” gave way to “We’s.” And like any mother, I was elated to see my son so in love and so happy.

After all, since Jonathan had never been a bar-frequenter, it had been my gentle coaxing that had convinced him that the best way to meet people in a new town was through community service. I was right.

With my encouragement, Jonathan eventually joined a volunteer group for active gay singles. Soon after, he met Eric.

Fast-forward 11 years. Jonathan and Eric are as much devoted to each other as ever.

They have a wonderful life together, complete with a lovely suburban home and an adorable dog. In 2001, they launched their own volunteer group, which, over the years, has become one of the nation’s largest service organizations for LGBT volunteers. They’re as devoted to their community as they are to their relationship, and I could not be more proud.

It’s a joy and a relief that both of my sons have entered that special, slightly mysterious realm that spouses share. That deep, abiding love and commitment. That bedrock knowledge that even if everyone else does not, that one person will remain true to the end. The simple pleasure of sleeping better at night, warm and snug in the knowledge that you are not alone in this world.

Every mother wants that for her children, to know that even when we parents are long gone, they will still be loved with every bit of fervor that we’ve loved them with from the moment they were born. It is a human condition, at the most basic level.


Michael’s marriage to Teri was a given and politics never entered the equation — of course they could marry! They were in love and had chosen each other, till death do them part. Jonathan’s relationship, on the other hand, requires a lot of explanation and even more paperwork. He is denied the rights and protections civil marriage provides.

Even children understand that this is unfair. Michael and Teri’s two sons, both years away from voting age, have written to their state senators for help – they want to see Uncle Jonathan and Uncle Eric get married, here in our home state of New York and in front of their friends and family. And so do I.

Because what matters — the only thing that matters — is love. And that is universal. It’s time that marriage was universal, too.

This Mother’s Day, I don’t want another scarf. I don’t want any flowers. My dear son can’t give me the gift I want now — he’s done all he can do. Who would have thought that the best gift this mother could ever receive would come from the New York Legislature?

It’s time to pass marriage equality legislation. I’ve got a wedding to plan.

Blumenthal is a mother from Syosset, L. I..

Any Mother’s Day thoughts or plans for you all? Anyone talking to their mom about marriage or equality?

Entry filed under: Marriage equality.

Anti-gay groups eye higher spending through next year An odd choice, but an ultimately worthy spokesperson for equality

20 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Linda  |  May 8, 2011 at 10:38 am


    • 2. Kathleen  |  May 8, 2011 at 10:40 am

      • 3. JonT  |  May 8, 2011 at 11:29 am

        Nice story :)

        • 4. Ann S.  |  May 8, 2011 at 5:36 pm


  • 5. Sagesse  |  May 8, 2011 at 10:48 am

    Whatever demonstrations and counter-protests are planned for NY, they should include families… lots of families, including allies like Jonathan’s Mom and his nephews.

    • 6. Rhie  |  May 8, 2011 at 12:49 pm

      Yup. That’s a powerful visual to counter the “traditional family” lines from NOM and FRC and FotF and the rest of the alphabet soup of hate.

  • 7. Bob  |  May 8, 2011 at 11:03 am

    what a wonderful letter…. wish all mothers could read this,,,,, happy mothers day to her,,,,,,

  • 8. Ronnie  |  May 8, 2011 at 11:12 am

    I just read this piece from the NY Daily News to my mom over the phone….she loved it.

    I’m still trying to figure out what to do for her tonight when she gets home from work. I have several ideas I’m tossing around in my head & still have a few hours to work on one of them…..

    Anywho.. Whether you are a bio-mom, adoptive mom, foster mom, grandmother, god-mother, mother-in-law, aunt, guardian, older sister, heterosexual mom, lesbian mom(s), transgender mom, single mom, military mom or the male equivalent of the aforementioned…..HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!!!!!

    subscribing & sharing…..Here is a video of Zach Wahls wishing his moms & all moms a Happy Mother’s Day also……<3…..Ronnie:

  • 9. Bob  |  May 8, 2011 at 11:36 am

    this is special Ronnie,,,, I hope you’ll share what you come up with for your mother…..

    Your MOM is sooooo special,,,,,, to many of us here on this site,,, and especially for me,,,, the two of you are such a great team,,,,

    HERE’S A SPEICAL HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO RONNIE’S MOM sending big hugs and lot’s of love from Canada,,,,,,,,

    • 10. Straight Ally #3008  |  May 8, 2011 at 1:44 pm

      Hear, hear!

  • 11. Mackenzie  |  May 8, 2011 at 12:43 pm

    Brilliant article!

  • 12. Sheryl, Mormon Mother of a wonderful son who just happens to be gay  |  May 8, 2011 at 1:14 pm

    My mother’s day consists of working. Hubby will fix dinner tonight. Will do the official celebration with my son next Sunday. That will be the special day. We will be going to an A’s game then to the cemetery to put flowers in his paternal grandmother and gr grandmother’s graves (will include the grandfather and gr. grandfather). Then to Denny’s for the maple bacon sundae. Will be a fabulous day. Spending an entire day with him is always special. There are times I wish we could turn the clock back 14 years and he was still at home with me.

    Wishing all of the mothers on P8TT a Happy Mother’s Day.

  • 13. Joel  |  May 8, 2011 at 2:57 pm

    When Mark and I registered as domestic partners in WeHo back in 2000, it was more of a formality than anything else. NWA, the company I was working for, recognized partnerships for purposes of insurance and flight benefits. It was no more ceremonial than, as one of the prop 8 plaintiffs testified, getting a dog license. We celebrated with a cocktail at The Gold Coast (they didn’t have champagne), and considered it done.

    My mother was livid! She insisted that we plan and execute a “wedding” in the backyard, complete with flowers and a cake and tuxes and the works. When the day grew close, it was evident that father was going to need by-pass surgery, but she wouldn’t hear of canceling or postponing it. Dad had been home from the hospital for a week, but attended in his p-jays, holding his “cough bear,” and my sister travelled all the way from the East Coast to “stand up” for me.

    I love you, Mama!

  • 14. Matthew  |  May 8, 2011 at 3:28 pm

    This story was touching. Pulled on my heart strings.

  • 15. Sagesse  |  May 8, 2011 at 5:05 pm

    New York Gay Marriage Foes Launch ‘Mayday For Marriage!’ Tour


    • 16. Dave P  |  May 8, 2011 at 10:12 pm

      A web search found this info about the tour:

      “The tour starts May 6 and will hold events in Buffalo, Rochester, Staten Island, Long Island, and wrap up with a stop at the west Capitol Park in Albany. ”

      Do we have any info about any pro SSM groups and their plans?

  • 17. Sagesse  |  May 8, 2011 at 5:07 pm

    Delaware Gay Unions Signing Ceremony To Take Place Wednesday


  • 18. Sagesse  |  May 8, 2011 at 5:11 pm

    Duffy, Not Cuomo, To Address Gay-Rights Groups Tomorrow


  • 19. Ray in MA  |  May 8, 2011 at 6:17 pm

    • 20. Dave P  |  May 8, 2011 at 10:15 pm

      BTW, I was just watching the season finale episode of “The Amazing Race” and the Google ad featuring the ‘It Gets Better’ campaign appeared moments after the two-hour episode ended. It’s a really good ad and It must have been seen by a very large audience. Nice!


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